This beautiful woman having suffered an awful sexual assault and then depriving her husband of sex because of her trauma has just bought two vibrators in a bid to learn to love herself.
‘Vibrators are too expensive!’ She said
‘$10’ I said
‘What if I die and my children find it?’
‘They will think ‘good on you mum!’
Ten minutes later she came back with the bag, ‘I got two!’
There is nothing wrong with self love, in fact that is where it needs to start!
I love empowering women.
Whilst revisiting Jung’s book Dreams, Memories, Reflections on holiday by the Murray River I stumbled across his remark of ‘unnecessary humiliation’ as Jung explored his anima and listened to a new voice.
‘It is perfectly true that I have thought or felt this way at some time or other, but I don’t have to think or feel that way now. I need not accept this banality of mine in perpetuity; that is an unnecessary humiliation’
Reading this passage made me realise how many times I have unnecessary humiliated myself in my head. How many times do we revisit an experience with old emotions and not the new self that have grown to become?
Jung has always been my hero because he documented his open heart and soul as well as his psyche and encourages us to do the same. You might not agree with some of his theories and philosophies but surely his open and honest attitude to life bares no greater guidance.
A beautiful sunny Brisbane meant that Sexpo was Hot!….Living in Melbourne I had mainly taken completely the wrong kind of clothing, winter dresses just don’t work in 25 degrees.
However as usual my writing comes after the fact and so as I reflect on my wonderful weekend in August at Sexpo I wanted to share some stories.
My eyes wide open this time and not on stalks I listened to the tales of swingers who just wanted to try something new, in my experience a lot of these couples have been in a relationship together for a long time and want to spice things up a bit. What’s wrong with that? I’m always asked if I have tried it and my reply is like many questions I’m asked at Sexpo…’not yet!’
Then there are the older men whose sex drive is still high but are widowed, divorced or single through choice. These beautiful curious creatures suffer from the age old complaint of loneliness and are not looking for love but just a companion. ‘I’ve even tried a bloke for the first time’ said one guy to me ‘it’s not bad you know, I’d do it again!’ As I listened I knew I was the first person he’d told this to and I felt privileged to hear of his bravery to experience the new, the different, to change his perspective later on in life when so many have already written their rigid path full of rules and regulations.
I found once again that it is the Sexpo consumers who are the preachers and teachers, the inspiration and us humble stall holders are merely the listeners, protectors of secrets and hand holders of a new way of life for many.
Well yeah explaining to your kids that Mummy and Daddy are not going to be living together anymore is difficult and there are tears but what I hadn’t banked on was the happiness that would follow. The children look forward to seeing their Dad and equally look forward to seeing Mum.
Sharing the childcare occasionally works and occasionally is confusing. Sometimes at the weekend when the kids return you don’t know if you are coming or going, this is a new life for us all a ‘split life’. For two weekends in four I feel single again which takes the weight of responsibility from my shoulders, I’m still finding out who that girl is. Then returning to the role of Mum envelopes me into a place of unconditional love where even when I get it wrong (everyday, especially the cooking!) my children laugh and encourage me as I do to them. Is this possibly the best of both worlds? I feel very selfish to say that yes it probably is!
There is the gloom of the D word that hangs around like a bad smell sometimes, mainly when I’m alone. The what if’s and if only’s but in my heart I know I have set my children free from trying to live up to two peoples very different views, standards, ethics and values under the same roof. The very reason I tried to stay married has now been the greatest gift of seperation, my children’s happiness.
Mummy and Daddy are HAPPY! This is new, it shouldn’t be but it is and guess what it makes the children happy too. We all have good days and bad days but I can honestly say that my kids are happier now that we are too, surely that’s what us parents all strive for!
Within the intimate walls of a Sexpo Exhibition nothing is controversial and exchange matters, eyes are not down looking at phones they are wide open watching and searching. The exchange of energy between people not sex but friendship, a common interest and an attainable goal is apparent; happiness. Obviously sex is the subject we hear from sound but it is expelled from the lips of liberation.
‘There’s nothing wrong with self-love!’
Fascinated by Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious or autonomous psyche I ponder (generally whilst staring into the fire) are there triggers in our life for the autonomous psyche to kick in? Is the collective unconscious the reason for what some people perceive as irrational behavior? However surely it is the most rational if it is predetermined?
Now there are so many choices about which direction to move in that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just ahead it surrounds us in a plethora of colours and angles which road do you take? The road less traveled is really the road traveled time and time again by the feet of ancestors.
‘It is the matrix of all conscious psychic occurrences, and hence it exerts an influence that compromises the freedom of consciousness in the highest degree, since it is continually striving to lead all conscious processes back into the old paths.’
Jung – “The Significance of Constitution and Heredity in Psychology” (November 1929).
Really there is no choice to make your collective unconscious will tell you the path to take. That’s if you can take the time to switch off from the conscious.
Sexual ‘Liberation’ being the topic of my talk and brand I thought it interesting that I will need a disclaimer for my PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait to get to Brisbane and explore my truth and freedom. I was thinking about all of this and then stumbled across a book my husband bought me for Christmas.
‘Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.’
What a privilege it is to have these amazing men read my book and also how profound. Five men started my journey into words when I thought I had lost my power and decided to delve deeper into my psyche and sexuality. I soon regained my sense of self and began my journey of Sexual Liberation. I feel so free and empowered and this photo feels as though these extraordinary men have lifted me up on their shoulders. Thanks Boys all of you xxx
Now I really feel like an Independent Author! No longer am I reliant on Amazon or other sites to sell my book, I’ve taken the plunge into my own eCommerce. Taking control of my life by writing my book was the first step and everyday I walk closer to true Independence.
I managed to upgrade my site and so far so good! I am getting orders and lovely reviews from customers that I met at Sexpo Perth. Juggling my new role as ‘Single Mum’ and my passion for writing is a new and interesting challenge, I want my kids to know that I love what I do and that happiness is the wealth that keeps you going.
‘Thank you so much for writing this book, I’d love to get my hands on the second one, I love reading erotic fiction. I read by sign language to my two deaf friends who are married. I would like to read all of your books, I do hope book two is available to buy in paperback soon’
Wow! I was so happy with this review , it’s that simple email that keeps you going when you wonder if really you should just go and work on the checkout!
To see more reviews please go to my new Write to Reply Review Page
Sexpo was so exciting and carrying on that momentum is my second book which isn’t what I thought it would be, nothing is right?
I wrote around 70,000 words for book two knowing I would edit and probably be left with a 50,000 word novella. In the end I decided to halve the book and keep it solely in Australia and so Sharks & Lovers Australia is born.
I finished the mechanical edit getting that out of the way before making sure that the black cat gets remembered throughout the whole book…(btw there is no black cat). In the substantive edit I realised all my characters are heading for Perth from their current locations of Kakadu, N.T and Melbourne.
Set in Australia book two draws on my travels in my twenties as well as some factional realities of my time in Bayside, Melbourne. I’m hoping this book will encourage more travel for Frankie B around this amazing country. Bendigo, Adelaide and Perth in the last few weeks just isn’t enough, I want more.
On Friday as if by magic my question was answered when I was invited to BrisbaneSexpo in August. Yippee!
Please comment below for a free e-book of book two or email Me now.
Thanks for your support especially from the troops I know are listening to the writers I know that are encouraging me, the readers that propel me and my friends and family who give me strength on this crazy ride. Thanks xx