A beautiful sunny Brisbane meant that Sexpo was Hot!….Living in Melbourne I had mainly taken completely the wrong kind of clothing, winter dresses just don’t work in 25 degrees.
However as usual my writing comes after the fact and so as I reflect on my wonderful weekend in August at Sexpo I wanted to share some stories.
My eyes wide open this time and not on stalks I listened to the tales of swingers who just wanted to try something new, in my experience a lot of these couples have been in a relationship together for a long time and want to spice things up a bit. What’s wrong with that? I’m always asked if I have tried it and my reply is like many questions I’m asked at Sexpo…’not yet!’
Then there are the older men whose sex drive is still high but are widowed, divorced or single through choice. These beautiful curious creatures suffer from the age old complaint of loneliness and are not looking for love but just a companion. ‘I’ve even tried a bloke for the first time’ said one guy to me ‘it’s not bad you know, I’d do it again!’ As I listened I knew I was the first person he’d told this to and I felt privileged to hear of his bravery to experience the new, the different, to change his perspective later on in life when so many have already written their rigid path full of rules and regulations.
I found once again that it is the Sexpo consumers who are the preachers and teachers, the inspiration and us humble stall holders are merely the listeners, protectors of secrets and hand holders of a new way of life for many.
Well yeah explaining to your kids that Mummy and Daddy are not going to be living together anymore is difficult and there are tears but what I hadn’t banked on was the happiness that would follow. The children look forward to seeing their Dad and equally look forward to seeing Mum.
Sharing the childcare occasionally works and occasionally is confusing. Sometimes at the weekend when the kids return you don’t know if you are coming or going, this is a new life for us all a ‘split life’. For two weekends in four I feel single again which takes the weight of responsibility from my shoulders, I’m still finding out who that girl is. Then returning to the role of Mum envelopes me into a place of unconditional love where even when I get it wrong (everyday, especially the cooking!) my children laugh and encourage me as I do to them. Is this possibly the best of both worlds? I feel very selfish to say that yes it probably is!
There is the gloom of the D word that hangs around like a bad smell sometimes, mainly when I’m alone. The what if’s and if only’s but in my heart I know I have set my children free from trying to live up to two peoples very different views, standards, ethics and values under the same roof. The very reason I tried to stay married has now been the greatest gift of seperation, my children’s happiness.
Mummy and Daddy are HAPPY! This is new, it shouldn’t be but it is and guess what it makes the children happy too. We all have good days and bad days but I can honestly say that my kids are happier now that we are too, surely that’s what us parents all strive for!
Within the intimate walls of a Sexpo Exhibition nothing is controversial and exchange matters, eyes are not down looking at phones they are wide open watching and searching. The exchange of energy between people not sex but friendship, a common interest and an attainable goal is apparent; happiness. Obviously sex is the subject we hear from sound but it is expelled from the lips of liberation.
‘There’s nothing wrong with self-love!’
Fascinated by Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious or autonomous psyche I ponder (generally whilst staring into the fire) are there triggers in our life for the autonomous psyche to kick in? Is the collective unconscious the reason for what some people perceive as irrational behavior? However surely it is the most rational if it is predetermined?
Now there are so many choices about which direction to move in that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just ahead it surrounds us in a plethora of colours and angles which road do you take? The road less traveled is really the road traveled time and time again by the feet of ancestors.
‘It is the matrix of all conscious psychic occurrences, and hence it exerts an influence that compromises the freedom of consciousness in the highest degree, since it is continually striving to lead all conscious processes back into the old paths.’
Jung – “The Significance of Constitution and Heredity in Psychology” (November 1929).
Really there is no choice to make your collective unconscious will tell you the path to take. That’s if you can take the time to switch off from the conscious.
Sexual ‘Liberation’ being the topic of my talk and brand I thought it interesting that I will need a disclaimer for my PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait to get to Brisbane and explore my truth and freedom. I was thinking about all of this and then stumbled across a book my husband bought me for Christmas.
‘Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.’
What a privilege it is to have these amazing men read my book and also how profound. Five men started my journey into words when I thought I had lost my power and decided to delve deeper into my psyche and sexuality. I soon regained my sense of self and began my journey of Sexual Liberation. I feel so free and empowered and this photo feels as though these extraordinary men have lifted me up on their shoulders. Thanks Boys all of you xxx
Now I really feel like an Independent Author! No longer am I reliant on Amazon or other sites to sell my book, I’ve taken the plunge into my own eCommerce. Taking control of my life by writing my book was the first step and everyday I walk closer to true Independence.
I managed to upgrade my site and so far so good! I am getting orders and lovely reviews from customers that I met at Sexpo Perth. Juggling my new role as ‘Single Mum’ and my passion for writing is a new and interesting challenge, I want my kids to know that I love what I do and that happiness is the wealth that keeps you going.
‘Thank you so much for writing this book, I’d love to get my hands on the second one, I love reading erotic fiction. I read by sign language to my two deaf friends who are married. I would like to read all of your books, I do hope book two is available to buy in paperback soon’
Wow! I was so happy with this review , it’s that simple email that keeps you going when you wonder if really you should just go and work on the checkout!
To see more reviews please go to my new Write to Reply Review Page
Sexpo was so exciting and carrying on that momentum is my second book which isn’t what I thought it would be, nothing is right?
I wrote around 70,000 words for book two knowing I would edit and probably be left with a 50,000 word novella. In the end I decided to halve the book and keep it solely in Australia and so Sharks & Lovers Australia is born.
I finished the mechanical edit getting that out of the way before making sure that the black cat gets remembered throughout the whole book…(btw there is no black cat). In the substantive edit I realised all my characters are heading for Perth from their current locations of Kakadu, N.T and Melbourne.
Set in Australia book two draws on my travels in my twenties as well as some factional realities of my time in Bayside, Melbourne. I’m hoping this book will encourage more travel for Frankie B around this amazing country. Bendigo, Adelaide and Perth in the last few weeks just isn’t enough, I want more.
On Friday as if by magic my question was answered when I was invited to BrisbaneSexpo in August. Yippee!
Please comment below for a free e-book of book two or email Me now.
Thanks for your support especially from the troops I know are listening to the writers I know that are encouraging me, the readers that propel me and my friends and family who give me strength on this crazy ride. Thanks xx
These nameless confessions from Sexpo I hope will inspire, confront and comfort. We all have a story to tell and I had the amazing privilege of listening to these beautiful people.
1. The Poet
He came in as soon as the doors opened on day one with eyes searching.
‘I used to write poetry’ he said with excitement in his voice but then he turned away and looked down.
‘But my muse left me’
It’s funny how you can wander along the same road everyday and never notice the architecture, the people behind the windows or maybe the goblin looking down from the pitched roof. Sometimes you need to take a break and walk a different route before you can see the details plainly.
I planned to go to Alice Springs this week and attend the writers festival there and yet I realised whilst on the road it wasn’t a destination I needed, just a different perspective.
We ended up in Adelaide but could have been anywhere, I needed some time on my own with my kids to think about our future. It was my first trip as a single parent and it’s amazing how different that felt, at first the odd one out, needing to be stronger with no one else to lean on but then relaxing and realising it’s not so different after all.
All we needed was a room to feel safe and together, we watched the ‘box tv’ (as my son called it) and snuggled on the double bed. In the morning when they came back in to tell me all about their dreams and how well they had slept that gift was better than any beach view, infinity pool or breakfast on the balcony.
Being on the road simplifies life and suddenly your goals, dreams, wants and needs all seem to align. The important things surfacing above the millions of choices we have to make everyday.