Memoir

Frankie BanksWhy Write Memoir?

Many people have kept journals throughout their life, a memoir. Perhaps over a period of travel, a period of change or a period of trauma. Some people write in their journal every day. These writings can easily be turned into a book of memoir. But why? And who would read it? Would you really want your nearest and dearest to?

Have you ever found one of your relatives diaries or letters? It’s always so intriguing to read a family members point of view on love or death, on the big subjects rarely discussed.  That is why you should publish for others to learn; a new viewpoint, a different way of life, even experience a by gone era.

Family History

Family are generally much more forgiving than we give them credit for and they really do want to know the family secrets, even if that secret is merely just a different perspective.

Families over generations sometimes follow the same trends and where that stems from is always interesting.  Websites such as ancestry.com encourage us to delve deeper into our family history but where do we put this information? Do we put it in a bottom draw hoping someone will find it or do we self publish it and help the story to live and breathe.

Fictional Memoir

Capote is most famous for writing fictional memoir. Some memories are too traumatic to simply publish with complete truth and some writers also like to provide some discreet cover by way of fictional memoir.  Sticking to the plot of what happened but perhaps renaming or reshaping some sequences so as not to offend can be ideal. It’s your story after all, it’s your perspective, you can write it however you see fit!

Memoir Memories as Therapy

Writing memories as memoir is also a proven therapy known as written exposure therapy. In conjunction with a therapist this is one of the best known ways to deal with post traumatic stress disorder. I would argue that in varying degrees we have all overcome or suffered from a traumatic experience at some point in our lives. With or without guidance we can all write the wrongs.

In conclusion memoir helps our families to understand and learn about their history, it helps us to move forward from trauma and it helps anyone who reads to widen their perspective and maybe write their own story one day. So what are you waiting for?

If you would like some help with your writing or getting published please email me at frankiebanks27@gmail.com

Learning And Sharing

“Behaviour is often taken as evidence of identity or capability, and this is how confidence and competence are destroyed in the classroom. Getting a sum wrong does not mean you are stupid or that you are poor at maths. To think this is to confuse logic, it is equivalent to thinking a ‘No Smoking’ sign in the cinema applies to the characters in the film” Joseph O Connor & John Seymour: Introducing NLP (Element 2002).

Everyone needs a platform for their writing and finding the right fit for your time, genre, cashflow, audience and I.T capabilities can be difficult.

Three weeks into teaching at my local U3A and there is a group of very interesting and interested writers some using Instagram for the first time, some creating blogs on WordPress and one group have published on Amazon, yes in just three weeks!

Instagram was a keen favorite with some individuals because it is what it says, instant! It is also very simple to use, set up and a great way to share excerpts and blogs.

When the course started there were some conversations about not being computer savvy but that was simply confidence that needed building.

Teaching is a pleasure when the recipient is responsive and that is obviously a result of teaching what is relevant and creating confidence.

 

Let them Fall and Fail

I don’t often comment on parenting because we all know how bloody difficult it is to get it right. However a lesson shared might just be a lesson learnt!

Thanks to my big brother (who after talking about it for five years finally came to visit me in Aus) my children have taken up roller skating and I have returned, (after almost 25 years!).

I don’t mind admitting it was pretty scary putting those skates back on and realising you are not quite as agile as you were at 15! Skating was one of the easiest things I can remember doing as a kid so why was it so difficult now? Ha ha fear! Fear of of falling over, fear of failure.

My teenage boy got the hang of it almost immediately and my youngest clung eagerly to the side occasionally getting her confidence and then legs going in opposite directions like Bambi she would pull herself up and start all over again, with determination.

‘C’mon Mum speed up’ called my eldest

‘It’s ok for you you’re like a spitfire, I’m an old jumbo jet!’ I muttered feeling every muscle tighten and every wobble, wobble. On his second time lapping me he returned;

‘Mum a spitfire just has a prop, jumbo jets have twin turbo engines, you have more power than me!’

I laughed. They are always so much wiser, I never stop learning from my beautiful babies.

As adults we have been conditioned that ‘falling over’ is embarrassing and scary. The fear of falling or failing is what prevents us but the act of falling or failing is actually what propels us to succeed.

A strange site to see were the parents walking onto the rink with their kids holding both of their hands and not letting them go, a whole hour of walking around in circles. Oh how I wish I could hold their hands forever and never let them into a world I’m still trying to understand, a world that still hurts and confuses me but equally brings such pleasure when you least expect it. I wish I could take their knocks for them but then what would they learn? We have to let our children fall over and fail and get back up because that’s life!

After four or five visits to the rink my youngest is skating around perfectly well, away from the safety of the side enjoying every minute with a huge smile. My spitfire may only have a prop but effortlessly speeds around ducking and diving without hitting the ground. For me the 30 seconds achieved of perfect gliding, feeling fifteen again and the smiles on my children’s faces make the occasional bruise worth it. Like many parents it is me that needs to learn to let go!

The Last Hour of Sexpo

In the thirteenth hour at 11.45pm I am asked ‘What is your book really about? I’m interested in the psychology’ this wonderful Russian man enveloped me with his deep brown eyes. Sexpo can sometimes be an astounding assault on the senses with music coming at you from all directions, semi-naked people jiggling around all over the place so making eye contact can be the most important connection, well isn’t it always?

Immediately I was brought back to the whole reason I write because of Jung, because of Self, Persona, Anima, Ego and Shadow and so I explained as he nodded in agreement.

‘I knew it, I knew this was deep’ he said, ‘people think clever is up here’ he says pointing to his head. ‘But clever is to feel how can you know something unless you feel it’ .

Well that certainly won my 85% emotional self! It was great to be brought back to the heart of my writing. I have struggled with my emotional self this last year as a single Mum trying hard to ignite my logical thinking and leave emotional ‘Mummy’ on the doorstep.  Having the luxury of diving back into my creativity was simply divine.

I met some fantastic people sitting opposite the laporium, watching the ‘Sharks’ inviting the ‘Lovers’ into their lair. My ‘Write Your Book In A Weekend’ seminar drew passionate professionals to me in a focused group realising their dreams of driving better sex education, initiating intimacy and sharing stories of abuse. All shedding light on what perhaps has been their dark.

Meeting two beautifully brave men was a highlight as they told me about their prostate cancer which resulted in zero sex life, a sobering yet inspiring moment. ‘I told him about it, told him what to watch out for and then a few months later he had it too!’ Wow they really were friends for life! ‘He still has a wife!’ he told me as his friend shook his head and the frustration built from his toes to his ears. ‘It’s difficult’

The ‘Yoni’ wave of self love was in full swing and it was great to witness women teaching women about self pleasure, self love and happiness enriching the Sexpo conversation.

I left Sydney Sexpo realising my creative self had been neglected of late. I need to get stuck into producing my third book and finishing my fourth.

Within a couple of weeks of returning home I met with Dennis Jones to discuss International Book Distribution and received the most beautiful bouquet and champagne from my fabulous client Glen Coutinho!  It seems momentum is never ending at the moment, I guess I just need to go with the flow!

Thanks Sexpo for another enlightening experience.

Goodness only knows what July has in store!

By Women For Women

Inspired by the camaraderie that the #metoo movement encouraged among women I decided to ask my clients, colleagues and courageous friends to collaborate with me on a book sharing their experiences of life.

I have been overwhelmed by the support in this new project so thank you to everyone who has submitted a piece already.

If you would like to be considered for the book I require a 200/300 word bio with photo and 500-3500 words on one or any combination of the following subjects.

Love

Loss

Relationships

Pregnancy

Sex

Sexual Objectification

Abuse

Advice

Our target audience is other women of similar ages to ourselves (30 years plus). However if just a handful of men read it and change an opinion or learn something new about women I believe we have done our job!

If you require more information please send me an email frankiebanks27@gmail.com

A Weekend with Australia’s Hottest Pornstar

I had the pleasure of spending last weekend with Madison Missina, we created a writing retreat at my house and with the rain pouring down outside she told her story, writing 54,000 words in just three days! We were both amazed at how easily it flowed. It was fantastic to spend time with this wonderful woman, to relax in each other’s company, to spill our fears and our fantasies.

When I first met Madison Missina it was November 2016, she was walking through Sexpo as the tour guide dressed like a mini Snow White (above) or that was my impression. (I believe the costume in question is actually something completely different I’ll have to ask her) But hey as a writer surely it’s all about perception? There was no denying her Beauty and charisma as she laughed, joked and informed the public about what Sexpo is all about.

Something pulls you in with Maddy and it’s not just her beauty, there is something in that soft questioning voice that makes you listen a little harder.

A lot of people don’t realise that Maddy is a qualified counsellor and her quest to unravel the human psyche was obvious as over the weekend she revealed the colourful knitted and knotted tapestry that is her life. Talking freely about the pain she has suffered, turning blame into lessons and lessons into laughter, her smile illuminated some of the darkest places imaginable.

On the last day her frown appeared and then the tears and yet the questioning voice still remained. Even more charismatic minus the makeup with not an ounce of vanity in sight Maddy was so willing to take up the challenge of vulnerability without having to prove a thing.

Even through the adversity Maddy remains able to question motive and mind with an honest smile, an admirable quality. I don’t think I will ever forget that weekend I fell in love with writing all over again and I just know there are many more projects for us to collaborate on Thanks MM!

And so now to the editing…

Sexpo Rated PowerPoint 

Sexual ‘Liberation’ being the topic of my talk and brand I thought it interesting that I will need a disclaimer for my PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait to get to Brisbane and explore my truth and freedom. I was thinking about all of this and then stumbled across a book my husband bought me for Christmas. 

‘Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.’

Mark Twain

Thank You

Sexpo and the Writer


I have this gig in November to talk about my writing and how it has empowered me.  As my novels contain rather a lot of sex I suppose it is appropriate for me to do this at the Sexpo S.H.A.R.E seminars but somehow I feel like I will disappoint the audience. I’m just a normal housewife who has found a passion in writing. I don’t have huge breasts or a fabulous figure. I haven’t even had my eyelashes extended (like so many of the mums in the playground).

I hope I can concoct a talk that entices people into writing and empowers people to embrace their so-called ‘dark side’. I wonder if anyone will listen or even show up, I hope I can deliver. I have three months to come up with an engaging, interactive talk, an outfit I feel comfortable in and most importantly a bloody big helping of courage!

I will keep you posted and if you have any advice I’d be really grateful….

Editing


Finally, after a year and a half of grappling with editing, I think I just about have it sussed!  I have to share with you my findings because I am sure a lot of other writers struggle with this too.  Obviously, once you have a manuscript you know it will need editing so you start with the content, changing the odd grammatical error here and there as you go. However if like me you needed to edit your entire manuscript six times for content before you felt you had a finished product by the end of that process you have had enough of your baby crying. When someone says they will copy-edit for you, you almost bite their hand off.  Please take this screaming baby away for a while and give me a break!

There are three types of editing light, medium and heavy and within those contexts, there is also substantive and mechanical.  Substantive refers to the order of content and could be construed as heavy editing as it will also edit out content that is not relevant.  Mechanical editing is relating to grammar, punctuation, spelling and footnotes.  When using a publisher they may well have an in-house editor that will mechanically edit your manuscript to fit their style of print and product.

There are many programmes that you can run on your computer to edit your grammar and punctuation but they might not all understand your content.  For example, my novel starts out in Southend on Sea in Essex, England.  I’m afraid there ain’t a product out there that’s gonna give me the license I need to mess ’bout with words and get really lairy with my content.  So using a person surely makes sense?  Maybe if you live in exactly the place you want the manuscript read or based.  Otherwise, you have to make do with a few proofreaders and hope they understand your spoken language vs readability vs message.

My problem with clients is that I am in love with language and people’s nuances I love an accent and even better I love broken words and out-of-place context.  Perhaps I am destined to always be a light editor!  I am just not critical enough I love everyone’s speech.  Although I have today for the first time gone through my manuscript and seen the errors, every single one of them!  Is it because I have a printer ready to go?  Or is it because I have relaxed and realised everything will come in time and I’m allowed to make mistakes?  I guess the test will be when I next look at my client’s work, will I see the errors or only hear the voice?

The most fantastic thing is that my printed copy will be the best I can possibly produce and I now know exactly the process I need to go through with book two.  I will edit content first, a heavy substantive edit followed by a light substantive edit and then two or three mechanical edits.  Nothing is ever perfect and when I found an error in Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s I have to admit to a tiny feeling of elation.  However as I tell my children we can only do our best and then we can learn, improve and do even better!

My book can be downloaded at these websites

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GD8OG98

Kobo

https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/sharks-lovers

iTunes

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/isbn9781925457209