Polyamory

Disney has a lot to answer for in strengthening monogamous relationship ideals. Oh sure I’m lucky enough to have had a few princes that have swept me off my feet but now that I’m holding the reigns I’ve realised I do and have always seen relationships from rose tinted Disney glasses. Polyamory if I had ever thought of the word would mean infidelity and infidelity would generally be a man having an affair. How Unfair some of life’s old beliefs appear after a year at Sexpo!

I’ve always known what polygamy was but polyamory seems like a new and perhaps a more inclusive way to have more than one partner, i.e we’re not just talking about a man having more than one wife!

It’s certainly no new thing and I hate to wobble your halo but most of us have probably been a part of a polyamorous relationship even if we weren’t aware at the time! Many of us have loved more than one person at the same time and that by definition is polyamory. It actually isn’t about a hierarchy of love but simply loving more than one. You can also be single and polyamorous which perhaps is a more socially accepted norm.

Because of the new dating generation being so much more accessible by the click of a button or should I say swipe of a finger! Choice and abundance is open to all not just the gutsy guy who has the balls to ask for the first dance. Will my children enter into monogamous relationships? Should I even actually promote them as ‘normal’?

Do women inherently want to ‘settle down’ and become Cinderella? Or are the next generation more likely to be Snow White enjoying her seven dwarfs!

For a lot of polyamorous people the lifestyle is about independence, could this be the end to the rescuer, to the knight in shining white armour? My heart through those rose tinted glasses shouts ‘Noooooooo!’

My head heaves a sigh of relief ‘Phew!’ I can ride my own bloody horse, thank you very much!

Confessions of Sexpo Melbourne 2017

Sexpo The Truth

After every Sexpo I have written a confessions blog, this is not meant to shock but rather to normalise the subject of sex.  After all ignorance is definitely not bliss and knowledge is power, something that I have personally had to realise this year!

The first confession of Melbourne 2017 Sexpo was one of my own, to my children.  They had seen the build up to this amazing event, the flyers, the marketing and had started to ask questions, so I needed to be open and honest with them.  I explained that Sexpo is an exhibition surrounding the education of intimacy, relationships and our bodies.  I also explained that although I go to sell my book, for the most part I am talking and reassuring people that they are ‘normal’ whatever that is!  I told them both that their bodies and every function that they perform emotionally and physically is natural and wonderful. When I meet the wonderful patrons of Sexpo and we chat about our experiences, I have only ever been shocked about the amount of shame that we all carry around with us. I don’t want my children to feel shame, it’s such a useless waste of time almost as ridiculous as worry.

The first at my stand was Sam a wonderful Italian who although has lived in Aus for a very long time still had the nuances of a European.  He openly shared his experiences as a single man and his continued safety around women and couples that wanted to experiment with him. He was a joy, full of boyish charm and excitement at being so free to demonstrate his curiosity.

A wonderful Mexican guy came to talk to me with the most beautiful accent and looks similar to that of Rafael Nadal he explained how the girls he knew back home could never wear a skirt or dress in public as they would be harassed and maybe even assaulted. ‘It’s very safe here in Aus’ he said.

A man with Tourette’s syndrome was the next to chat, he was interested in the psychological stance I had used in Sharks & Lovers to discover different sides of me and similarly the characters.  He recommended some more pysch books for me to read which was awesome, I’m always looking for more inspiration.

The next guy resembled a character I always come across; his wife had recently died and ‘she was very proper’.  He explained that he wasn’t very experienced and he bought my book in hope of some insights into another life. I do hope it delivers and I look forward to his response.

I can’t write this without mentioning the wonderful woman from my previous blog who came to me with such a warm smile.  She bought her first vibrators this weekend after my encouragement!  Having lost her husband a few years previously and before that having suffered an assault she withdrew from intimacy. We talked for a long time about control and abuse but mainly our shared philosophy that we are all in charge of our own happiness, by the end we embraced having shared our stories so honestly and openly.

These are the moments you just cannot replicate outside of Sexpo.

A great girl came up and grabbed Sharks & Lovers and gave it to her sister, ‘You’re reading this!’ she said.  Her sister was off to London for Christmas and I’m sure she will enjoy some of the places that I explain in the book and hopefully she will get to visit them too!

The exhibitors were a delight as always and the wonderful Pricasso painted my portrait in exchange for my book, promising me we will start his memoir next year, I will keep him to that!

I can’t list everyone I talk to but I do know that all the conversations at Sexpo are creating intimate and inspiring connections.

So until Sydney mid ’18 or maybe closer depending on dates for the U.K and U.S, it will be an exciting year that’s for definite!

Stay tooned folks!!!

Xx

Sexual Liberation

This beautiful woman having suffered an awful sexual assault and then depriving her husband of sex because of her trauma has just bought two vibrators in a bid to learn to love herself.

‘Vibrators are too expensive!’ She said

‘$10’ I said

‘What if I die and my children find it?’

‘They will think ‘good on you mum!’

Ten minutes later she came back with the bag, ‘I got two!’

There is nothing wrong with self love, in fact that is where it needs to start!

I love empowering women.

Brisbane Sexpo Confessions

A beautiful sunny Brisbane meant that Sexpo was Hot!….Living in Melbourne I had mainly taken completely the wrong kind of clothing, winter dresses just don’t work in 25 degrees.

However as usual my writing comes after the fact and so as I reflect on my wonderful weekend in August at Sexpo I wanted to share some stories.

My eyes wide open this time and not on stalks I listened to the tales of swingers who  just wanted to try something new, in my experience a lot of these couples have been in a relationship together for a long time and want to spice things up a bit. What’s wrong with that? I’m always asked if I have tried it and my reply is like many questions I’m asked at Sexpo…’not yet!’

Then there are the older men whose sex drive is still high but are widowed, divorced or single through choice. These beautiful curious creatures suffer from the age old complaint of loneliness and are not looking for love but just a companion. ‘I’ve even tried a bloke for the first time’ said one guy to me ‘it’s not bad you know, I’d do it again!’ As I listened I knew I was the first person he’d told this to and I felt privileged to hear of his bravery to experience the new, the different, to change his perspective later on in life when so many have already written their rigid path full of rules and regulations.

I found once again that it is the Sexpo consumers who are the preachers and teachers, the inspiration and us humble stall holders are merely the listeners, protectors of secrets and hand holders of a new way of life for many. 

Sexpo Exchange that Matters

Liberating Exchanges

Within the intimate walls of a Sexpo Exhibition nothing is controversial and exchange matters, eyes are not down looking at phones they are wide open watching and searching.  The exchange of energy between people not sex but friendship, a common interest and an attainable goal is apparent; happiness.  Obviously sex is the subject we hear from sound but it is expelled from the lips of liberation.

‘There’s nothing wrong with self-love!’

So Excited! Sharks and Lovers Australia


Sexpo was so exciting and carrying on that momentum is my second book which isn’t what I thought it would be, nothing is right?

I wrote around 70,000 words for book two knowing I would edit and probably be left with a 50,000 word novella. In the end I decided to halve the book and keep it solely in Australia and so Sharks & Lovers Australia is born. 

I finished the mechanical edit getting that out of the way before making sure that the black cat gets remembered throughout the whole book…(btw there is no black cat). In the substantive edit I realised all my characters are heading for Perth from their current locations of Kakadu, N.T and Melbourne.

Set in Australia book two draws on my travels in my twenties as well as some factional realities of my time in Bayside, Melbourne. I’m hoping this book will encourage more travel for Frankie B around this amazing country.  Bendigo, Adelaide and Perth in the last few weeks just isn’t enough, I want more.  

On Friday as if by magic my question was answered when I was invited to BrisbaneSexpo in August. Yippee!

Please comment below for a free e-book of book two or email Me now.

Thanks for your support especially from the troops I know are listening to the writers I know that are encouraging me, the readers that propel me and my friends and family who give me strength on this crazy ride. Thanks xx 

Confessions of Sexpo

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These nameless confessions from Sexpo I hope will inspire, confront and comfort. We all have a story to tell and I had the amazing privilege of listening to these beautiful people.

1. The Poet

He came in as soon as the doors opened on day one with eyes searching.

‘I used to write poetry’ he said with excitement in his voice but then he turned away and looked down.

‘But my muse left me’

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Sexpo


I feel so lucky to be here and yet I’m so far away from anyone I love, this is truly an epic adventure of heart and mind for me at Sexpo Perth.  This isn’t how I start my seminar out loud but maybe I should have!

Day One

Sales are going well and before I am due to go on some angels come to visit me. One is Madison Missina her strong charisma always projected a few feet ahead, she also talks at the share center and is a proactive safe sex advocate.  Madison takes the sexpo tours, holding the hands of the curious, encouraging their intrigue with every step. Then I catch Isabelle Deltore, she looks beautiful as always and tells me how busy she’s been and how she needs a break as always though her energy is high, racing around as fast as her motorbikes!  She joins myself and Jack, a historian and we discuss his three published books.  Sexpo really is soup for the soul, a mixture of the caring, curious and conscious.

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A Curiously Normal Sexpo


Whilst arriving at Sexpo this weekend with my subject of sexual liberation I couldn’t help thinking of comparisons of my book with a certain Shades of Grey, obviously I’m happy about being compared to a book that has become a multimillion dollar business.  In the back of my mind I was thinking how the ‘Grey’ books have changed erotic fiction and people’s acceptance of it, did I need to be at Sexpo? Surely sexy fiction is mainstream now? Maybe it is but liberation certainly isn’t as I found out almost immediately.

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A Wonderful Life

Another amazing week took place and I realised that this isn’t just another amazing week. This is the start of my career as a writer, this is the start of my wonderful life.

Having my book in print is so empowering, being an author is now tangible and not just a product of cyberspace, it is in my hand. The essence of my story is what counts just like all stories. It is the heart that tells the story, not the brain.  The fingers can fumble around messing up the letters and punctuation but the heart is what you hear. That’s if you are really listening of course.

I joined a new writers group last week and again I found myself surrounded by Amazing people. Most writers, (personally I believe the ones that are any good) wear their heart on their sleeve. Even when the beat slows, stumbles, races or misses it can still be heard.

Sharing is a writers arrow so I do think it is rather appropriate that my first gig is at the S.H.A.R.E seminar room at Sexpo, I can’t wait.  The world is open, my book is open and so is my heart.

Let’s share.