Confessions of Sexpo Melbourne 2017

Sexpo The Truth

After every Sexpo I have written a confessions blog, this is not meant to shock but rather to normalise the subject of sex.  After all ignorance is definitely not bliss and knowledge certainly is power, something that I personally have had to acknowledge this year.

The first confession of Melbourne 2017 Sexpo was one of my own to my children.  They had seen the build up to this amazing event, the flyers, the marketing and had started to ask questions and so I needed to be open and honest with them.  I explained that Sexpo is an exhibition surrounding the education of intimacy, relationships and our bodies.  I also explained that although I go to sell my book, for the most part I am talking and reassuring people that they are ‘normal’ whatever that is!  I told them both that their bodies and every function that their bodies perform emotionally and physically is natural an wonderful. I lastly explained that I want them to love and understand themselves because we all have to start there.

When I meet the wonderful patrons of Sexpo and we chat about our experiences, I have only ever been shocked about the amount of shame that we all carry around with us. I don’t want my children to feel shame, it’s such a useless waste of time almost as ridiculous as worry.

The first at my stand was Sam a wonderful Italian who although has lived in Aus for a very long time still had the nuances of a European.  He openly shared his experiences as a single man and his continued safety around women and couples that wanted to experiment with him. He was a joy, full of boyish charm and excitement at being so free to demonstrate his curiosity.

A wonderful Mexican guy came to talk to me with the most beautiful accent and looks similar to that of Rafael Nadal he explained how the girls he knew back home could never wear a skirt or dress in public as they would be harassed and maybe even assaulted. ‘It’s very safe here in Aus’ he said.

A man with Tourette’s syndrome was the next to chat, he was interested in the psychological stance I had used in Sharks & Lovers to discover different sides of me and similarly the characters.  He recommended some more pysch books for me to read which was awesome, I’m always looking for more inspiration.

The next guy resembled a character I always come across; his wife had recently died and ‘she was very proper’.  He explained that he wasn’t very experienced and he bought my book in hope of some insights into another life. I do hope it delivers and I look forward to his response.

I can’t write this without mentioning the wonderful woman from my previous blog who came to me with such a warm smile.  She bought her first vibrators this weekend after my encouragement!  Having lost her husband a few years previously and before that having suffered an assault she withdrew from intimacy. We talked for a long time about control and abuse but mainly our shared philosophy that we are all in charge of our own happiness, by the end we embraced having shared our stories so honestly and openly.

These are the moments you just cannot replicate outside of Sexpo.

A great girl came up and grabbed Sharks & Lovers and gave it to her sister, ‘You’re reading this!’ she said.  Her sister was off to London for Christmas and I’m sure she will enjoy some of the places that I explain in the book and hopefully she will get to visit them too!

The exhibitors were a delight as always and the wonderful Pricasso painted my portrait in exchange for my book, promising me we will start his memoir next year, I will keep him to that!

I can’t list everyone I talk to but I do know that all the conversations at Sexpo are creating intimate and inspiring connections.

So until Sydney mid ’18 or maybe closer depending on dates for the U.K and U.S, it will be an exciting year that’s for definite!

Stay tooned folks!!!

Xx

Unnecessary Humiliation 


Whilst revisiting Jung’s book Dreams, Memories, Reflections on holiday by the Murray River I stumbled across his remark of ‘unnecessary humiliation’ as Jung explored his anima and listened to a new voice. 

‘It is perfectly true that I have thought or felt this way at some time or other, but I don’t have to think or feel that way now. I need not accept this banality of mine in perpetuity; that is an unnecessary humiliation’

Reading this passage made me realise how many times I have unnecessary humiliated myself in my head. How many times do we revisit an experience with old emotions and not the new self that have grown to become? 

Jung has always been my hero because he documented his open heart and soul as well as his psyche and encourages us to do the same. You might not agree with some of his theories and philosophies but surely his open and honest attitude to life bares no greater guidance. 

Unconsciously Conscious

Triggers or Tripped

Fascinated by Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious or autonomous psyche I ponder (generally whilst staring into the fire) are there triggers in our life for the autonomous psyche to kick in? Is the collective unconscious the reason for what some people perceive as irrational behavior? However surely it is the most rational if it is predetermined?

Now there are so many choices about which direction to move in that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just ahead it surrounds us in a plethora of colours and angles which road do you take? The road less traveled is really the road traveled time and time again by the feet of ancestors.

‘It is the matrix of all conscious psychic occurrences, and hence it exerts an influence that compromises the freedom of consciousness in the highest degree, since it is continually striving to lead all conscious processes back into the old paths.’

Jung – “The Significance of Constitution and Heredity in Psychology” (November 1929).

Really there is no choice to make your collective unconscious will tell you the path to take. That’s if you can take the time to switch off from the conscious.

Sexpo Rated PowerPoint 

Sexual ‘Liberation’ being the topic of my talk and brand I thought it interesting that I will need a disclaimer for my PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait to get to Brisbane and explore my truth and freedom. I was thinking about all of this and then stumbled across a book my husband bought me for Christmas. 

‘Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.’

Mark Twain

Thank You

Men, Love & Sexual Liberation 

What a privilege it is to have these amazing men read my book and also how profound. Five men started my journey into words when I thought I had lost my power and decided to delve deeper into my psyche and sexuality.  I soon regained my sense of self and began my journey of Sexual Liberation.  I feel so free and empowered and this photo feels as though these extraordinary men have lifted me up on their shoulders. Thanks Boys all of you xxx

Indie Author, Independent World

 

First Draft

Now I really feel like an Independent Author! No longer am I reliant on Amazon or other sites to sell my book, I’ve taken the plunge into my own eCommerce. Taking control of my life by writing my book was the first step and everyday I walk closer to true Independence.

Independent Passion

I managed to upgrade my site and so far so good! I am getting orders and lovely reviews from customers that I met at Sexpo Perth.  Juggling my new role as ‘Single Mum’ and my passion for writing is a new and interesting challenge, I want my kids to know that I love what I do and that happiness is the wealth that keeps you going.

Independent Review

‘Thank you so much for writing this book, I’d love to get my hands on the second one, I love reading erotic fiction.  I read by sign language to my two deaf friends who are married. I would like to read all of your books, I do hope book two is available to buy in paperback soon’

Wow! I was so happy with this review , it’s that simple email that keeps you going when you wonder if really you should just go and work on the checkout!

To see more reviews please go to my new Write to Reply Review Page

So Excited! Sharks and Lovers Australia


Sexpo was so exciting and carrying on that momentum is my second book which isn’t what I thought it would be, nothing is right?

I wrote around 70,000 words for book two knowing I would edit and probably be left with a 50,000 word novella. In the end I decided to halve the book and keep it solely in Australia and so Sharks & Lovers Australia is born. 

I finished the mechanical edit getting that out of the way before making sure that the black cat gets remembered throughout the whole book…(btw there is no black cat). In the substantive edit I realised all my characters are heading for Perth from their current locations of Kakadu, N.T and Melbourne.

Set in Australia book two draws on my travels in my twenties as well as some factional realities of my time in Bayside, Melbourne. I’m hoping this book will encourage more travel for Frankie B around this amazing country.  Bendigo, Adelaide and Perth in the last few weeks just isn’t enough, I want more.  

On Friday as if by magic my question was answered when I was invited to BrisbaneSexpo in August. Yippee!

Please comment below for a free e-book of book two or email Me now.

Thanks for your support especially from the troops I know are listening to the writers I know that are encouraging me, the readers that propel me and my friends and family who give me strength on this crazy ride. Thanks xx 

Sexpo


I feel so lucky to be here and yet I’m so far away from anyone I love, this is truly an epic adventure of heart and mind for me at Sexpo Perth.  This isn’t how I start my seminar out loud but maybe I should have!

Day One

Sales are going well and before I am due to go on some angels come to visit me. One is Madison Missina her strong charisma always projected a few feet ahead, she also talks at the share center and is a proactive safe sex advocate.  Madison takes the sexpo tours, holding the hands of the curious, encouraging their intrigue with every step. Then I catch Isabelle Deltore, she looks beautiful as always and tells me how busy she’s been and how she needs a break as always though her energy is high, racing around as fast as her motorbikes!  She joins myself and Jack, a historian and we discuss his three published books.  Sexpo really is soup for the soul, a mixture of the caring, curious and conscious.

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