freelance

The Last Hour of Sexpo

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In the thirteenth hour at 11.45pm I am asked ‘What is your book really about? I’m interested in the psychology’ this wonderful Russian man enveloped me with his deep brown eyes. Sexpo can sometimes be an astounding assault on the senses with music coming at you from all directions, semi-naked people jiggling around all over the place so making eye contact can be the most important connection, well isn’t it always?

Immediately I was brought back to the whole reason I write because of Jung, because of Self, Persona, Anima, Ego and Shadow and so I explained as he nodded in agreement.

‘I knew it, I knew this was deep’ he said, ‘people think clever is up here’ he says pointing to his head. ‘But clever is to feel how can you know something unless you feel it’ .

Well that certainly won my 85% emotional self! It was great to be brought back to the heart of my writing. I have struggled with my emotional self this last year as a single Mum trying hard to ignite my logical thinking and leave emotional ‘Mummy’ on the doorstep.  Having the luxury of diving back into my creativity was simply divine.

I met some fantastic people sitting opposite the laporium, watching the ‘Sharks’ inviting the ‘Lovers’ into their lair. My ‘Write Your Book In A Weekend’ seminar drew passionate professionals to me in a focused group realising their dreams of driving better sex education, initiating intimacy and sharing stories of abuse. All shedding light on what perhaps has been their dark.

Meeting two beautifully brave men was a highlight as they told me about their prostate cancer which resulted in zero sex life, a sobering yet inspiring moment. ‘I told him about it, told him what to watch out for and then a few months later he had it too!’ Wow they really were friends for life! ‘He still has a wife!’ he told me as his friend shook his head and the frustration built from his toes to his ears. ‘It’s difficult’

The ‘Yoni’ wave of self love was in full swing and it was great to witness women teaching women about self pleasure, self love and happiness enriching the Sexpo conversation.

I left Sydney Sexpo realising my creative self had been neglected of late. I need to get stuck into producing my third book and finishing my fourth.

Within a couple of weeks of returning home I met with Dennis Jones to discuss International Book Distribution and received the most beautiful bouquet and champagne from my fabulous client Glen Coutinho!  It seems momentum is never ending at the moment, I guess I just need to go with the flow!

Thanks Sexpo for another enlightening experience.

Goodness only knows what July has in store!

Inside Out

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Like a lot of preconceptions, prison was completely different in reality. There were no steel bars and the view was beautiful from the manicured gardens.

The most visible differences from the world on the outside was the fact that these men all looked at their physical peak. Their exteriors were so well turned out.

Many of the men had girlfriends visiting but where were their dads, brothers and mates?  Is that the reason these men are here inside, there are no male role models for them? It seemed that could be the case.

Apparently the majority of prisoners do not even get visits so perhaps the gender of the visitor is in fact irrelevant, just knowing that someone cares should be enough? We all need a hand to hold no matter how strong we appear to be on the outside.

The correction centre had the disciplinary air of a school and yet these were grown men. You knew who was in charge and you certainly didn’t want to step out of line. There was also the obvious hierarchy amongst the prisoners which kept fear alive and eyes twitching.

For some this is just ‘fattening up for the next run’. There is no other way of life, no one to help them, no one that has penetrated their mental walls, nobody that has shown connection whilst they are on the inside.

What struck me most and I guess what we observe in everyday life is how lonely prison must be. But then so many of us choose to be lonely even when we are on the outside.

What I experienced was a tiny example of this walled society. A taste of the outside in or inside out!

Confessions of Sexpo Melbourne 2017

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Sexpo The Truth

After every Sexpo I have written a confessions blog, this is not meant to shock but rather to normalise the subject of sex.  After all ignorance is definitely not bliss and knowledge is power, something that I have personally had to realise this year!

The first confession of Melbourne 2017 Sexpo was one of my own, to my children.  They had seen the build up to this amazing event, the flyers, the marketing and had started to ask questions, so I needed to be open and honest with them.  I explained that Sexpo is an exhibition surrounding the education of intimacy, relationships and our bodies.  I also explained that although I go to sell my book, for the most part I am talking and reassuring people that they are ‘normal’ whatever that is!  I told them both that their bodies and every function that they perform emotionally and physically is natural and wonderful. When I meet the wonderful patrons of Sexpo and we chat about our experiences, I have only ever been shocked about the amount of shame that we all carry around with us. I don’t want my children to feel shame, it’s such a useless waste of time almost as ridiculous as worry.

The first at my stand was Sam a wonderful Italian who although has lived in Aus for a very long time still had the nuances of a European.  He openly shared his experiences as a single man and his continued safety around women and couples that wanted to experiment with him. He was a joy, full of boyish charm and excitement at being so free to demonstrate his curiosity.

A wonderful Mexican guy came to talk to me with the most beautiful accent and looks similar to that of Rafael Nadal he explained how the girls he knew back home could never wear a skirt or dress in public as they would be harassed and maybe even assaulted. ‘It’s very safe here in Aus’ he said.

A man with Tourette’s syndrome was the next to chat, he was interested in the psychological stance I had used in Sharks & Lovers to discover different sides of me and similarly the characters.  He recommended some more pysch books for me to read which was awesome, I’m always looking for more inspiration.

The next guy resembled a character I always come across; his wife had recently died and ‘she was very proper’.  He explained that he wasn’t very experienced and he bought my book in hope of some insights into another life. I do hope it delivers and I look forward to his response.

I can’t write this without mentioning the wonderful woman from my previous blog who came to me with such a warm smile.  She bought her first vibrators this weekend after my encouragement!  Having lost her husband a few years previously and before that having suffered an assault she withdrew from intimacy. We talked for a long time about control and abuse but mainly our shared philosophy that we are all in charge of our own happiness, by the end we embraced having shared our stories so honestly and openly.

These are the moments you just cannot replicate outside of Sexpo.

A great girl came up and grabbed Sharks & Lovers and gave it to her sister, ‘You’re reading this!’ she said.  Her sister was off to London for Christmas and I’m sure she will enjoy some of the places that I explain in the book and hopefully she will get to visit them too!

The exhibitors were a delight as always and the wonderful Pricasso painted my portrait in exchange for my book, promising me we will start his memoir next year, I will keep him to that!

I can’t list everyone I talk to but I do know that all the conversations at Sexpo are creating intimate and inspiring connections.

So until Sydney mid ’18 or maybe closer depending on dates for the U.K and U.S, it will be an exciting year that’s for definite!

Stay tooned folks!!!

Xx

Sexpo Rated PowerPoint 

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Sexual ‘Liberation’ being the topic of my talk and brand I thought it interesting that I will need a disclaimer for my PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait to get to Brisbane and explore my truth and freedom. I was thinking about all of this and then stumbled across a book my husband bought me for Christmas. 

‘Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.’

Mark Twain

Thank You

Indie Author, Independent World

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First Draft

Now I really feel like an Independent Author! No longer am I reliant on Amazon or other sites to sell my book, I’ve taken the plunge into my own eCommerce. Taking control of my life by writing my book was the first step and everyday I walk closer to true Independence.

Independent Passion

I managed to upgrade my site and so far so good! I am getting orders and lovely reviews from customers that I met at Sexpo Perth.  Juggling my new role as ‘Single Mum’ and my passion for writing is a new and interesting challenge, I want my kids to know that I love what I do and that happiness is the wealth that keeps you going.

Independent Review

‘Thank you so much for writing this book, I’d love to get my hands on the second one, I love reading erotic fiction.  I read by sign language to my two deaf friends who are married. I would like to read all of your books, I do hope book two is available to buy in paperback soon’

Wow! I was so happy with this review , it’s that simple email that keeps you going when you wonder if really you should just go and work on the checkout!

To see more reviews please go to my new Write to Reply Review Page

Sexpo

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I feel so lucky to be here and yet I’m so far away from anyone I love, this is truly an epic adventure of heart and mind for me at Sexpo Perth.  This isn’t how I start my seminar out loud but maybe I should have!

Day One

Sales are going well and before I am due to go on some angels come to visit me. One is Madison Missina her strong charisma always projected a few feet ahead, she also talks at the share center and is a proactive safe sex advocate.  Madison takes the sexpo tours, holding the hands of the curious, encouraging their intrigue with every step. Then I catch Isabelle Deltore, she looks beautiful as always and tells me how busy she’s been and how she needs a break as always though her energy is high, racing around as fast as her motorbikes!  She joins myself and Jack, a historian and we discuss his three published books.  Sexpo really is soup for the soul, a mixture of the caring, curious and conscious.

Continue reading →

The Un Couple

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My hubby and I have been through the mill these last few years, emigration, five house moves, working away, illness and redundancy. Basically we’ve experienced life and sometimes it pulls you together and sometimes it pushes you apart. We love each other sure but in love, no. Friends absolutely, lovers no.

It’s a harsh reality that we had to discuss. We are not connected and the more I write and get back to myself the further away we seem to drift.  I found happiness in my writing and discovering myself. ‘You have changed so much’ he said. I have he is right and I love this new me but it’s not compatible to him any more, we both seem to accept that.

Not wanting to unsettle our two beautiful children nothing has drastically changed in our set up other than awareness and willingness to talk.

‘It seems everyone has been through this, is going through this or is divorced’ he said after talking to a few of his friends.  He seemed surprised to find that there are not many happy marriages around. Everyone is struggling in one way or another, even if it is unsaid.

‘Men just don’t talk about their marriages’ he said. 

Where we are right now reminds me so much of my first miscarriage. A sadness that we shared together.  My body and mind seemed so disconnected from the world. It was out of my control and yet I was losing a part of me. All of a sudden the women around me shared their truth and experiences of miscarriage and I realised I wasn’t alone. It didn’t change the awful guilt or indescribable confusion about why this would happen but it helped with the isolation I had felt. I know my husbands friends were also willing to share their experiences too and it helped.

As we travel down this new road of ‘uncoupling’ I hope isolation isn’t a destination or even a pit stop. I hope we are not ‘damned’ for our new way of life.

I want to be happy and for those around me to be happy too, it’s that simple. Even when simple seems like a distant dream.