Novel Writing

Crazy Bitch

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

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Sorry if I offend you but I have a little story to tell about this CB.

‘You have never met a Crazy Bitch like this before have you?’

This was the beginning of the new me, I had tried to be the dutiful wife and the Mary Poppins mother. All us mums had husbands that were disconnected and working away. Everyone else however seemed to hold it together so well and those that didn’t were talked about; 

‘I don’t know how she copes!’ Simply implying she isn’t. 

‘Oh it’s a hard time for them at the moment’ whilst plastered grins on the speakers faces hide a multitude of depression, infidelity and unhappiness.

My Mary Poppins costume just didn’t fit, I was popping out all over the place! I spent years trying to tuck myself back in until I realised my mortality, what a smack in the face that was! 

All of a sudden the flabby bits didn’t matter, it was my hard heart I needed to listen to. I had to stop pleasing, I had to stop pretending and most importantly I needed to look myself in the eye.

That’s when the truth turned up and the Crazy Bitch returned in full flow. I had to be me and accept that not everyone would like it, some people would find it scary…I still don’t know what to do with them! But most people are accepting of my new happiness.

The biggest compliment was from my big bro this week, he checks in with me and sometimes gives me a verbal slap. We take it in turns to be the adult. ‘I’ve seen other people grow into the person they should be’ he said. Wow that was nice. He also implied it’s hard for the people around them, I accept that.

When I spoke to one of my friends recently about the fragility of my marriage her response was ‘You’re very brave only one out of ten marriages I know are happy and they accept it, they don’t question it’. I don’t know who is right but I want to be happy, not right or wrong!

I have to be me, are you being you?

Honestly?

The Un Couple

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

My hubby and I have been through the mill these last few years, emigration, five house moves, working away, illness and redundancy. Basically we’ve experienced life and sometimes it pulls you together and sometimes it pushes you apart. We love each other sure but in love, no. Friends absolutely, lovers no.

It’s a harsh reality that we had to discuss. We are not connected and the more I write and get back to myself the further away we seem to drift.  I found happiness in my writing and discovering myself. ‘You have changed so much’ he said. I have he is right and I love this new me but it’s not compatible to him any more, we both seem to accept that.

Not wanting to unsettle our two beautiful children nothing has drastically changed in our set up other than awareness and willingness to talk.

‘It seems everyone has been through this, is going through this or is divorced’ he said after talking to a few of his friends.  He seemed surprised to find that there are not many happy marriages around. Everyone is struggling in one way or another, even if it is unsaid.

‘Men just don’t talk about their marriages’ he said. 

Where we are right now reminds me so much of my first miscarriage. A sadness that we shared together.  My body and mind seemed so disconnected from the world. It was out of my control and yet I was losing a part of me. All of a sudden the women around me shared their truth and experiences of miscarriage and I realised I wasn’t alone. It didn’t change the awful guilt or indescribable confusion about why this would happen but it helped with the isolation I had felt. I know my husbands friends were also willing to share their experiences too and it helped.

As we travel down this new road of ‘uncoupling’ I hope isolation isn’t a destination or even a pit stop. I hope we are not ‘damned’ for our new way of life.

I want to be happy and for those around me to be happy too, it’s that simple. Even when simple seems like a distant dream.

Reflections

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

What an amazing year! My first book published and distributors knocking at the door! Wonderful clients who teach me so much and fabulous new friends and colleagues who enrich this journey.

Next year will see my second book published, writing workshops, more fantastic clients to help work on their books and another Sexpo. I’m sure other exciting projects will come along too, I just cannot wait!

My new workshops will include;

 

 

 

Continue reading →

Fictional Memoir

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Apparently Truman Capote was one of the founders of the fictional memoir. What a fabulous idea weaving fiction and fact together, most of us do that everyday anyway and sometimes the fabulous freedom of fiction can help you focus on the facts.

Letting fictional characters reveal truths about yourself and yet leaving the reader wondering about exactly which threads are real is genius.  As for the author talking to a stranger is so much easier, talking to the reader who we cannot even see is so much simpler, thank you!  

When a character knows you enough to take you through all of your trials and tribulations and takes the time to gently reveal a different perspective they become your allies, part of the team. Occasionally the protagonist propels their perceptions with no protection for the author but that’s ok we are just the singer in the band. Thank you Characters.

I believe the writer is in flow when they write from their subconscious not their conscious mind. That is why you cannot edit as you go and also why there are so many mistakes. It’s like a right hander putting the pen in their left hand and finally getting to their truth. Obviously it’s extremely freeing but also confronting and continuously changing.  Thank you subconscious.

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas and On The Road are well known fictional memoirs. I wonder how many or which of Jane Austens novels are fictional memoir?  I’m also sure there are many novels that are still sitting in ‘fiction’ whereby even the author doesn’t realise or are not willing to admit to fact. Thank you authors.

If you would like to find out how to write your own fictional memoir then please get in touch! frankiebanks27@gmail.com

My fictional memoir Sharks and Lovers is available to download here Amazon

Winning Gold

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Today a published author asked me to work on her memoir with her. A wonderful woman who I connected with as soon as we met.  I have had such a busy day that it has only just sunk in. I’m feeling very lucky.

Front & Back Cover

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My book is at the printers, it’s so exciting! I can’t wait to get my hands on it however I had a huge reality check when I realised the back cover did not sell the book at all, it just explained the characters.  It had to change, three drafts later and this is what I ended up with, I’ll probably do a few more changes but it’s getting there!

Games of Love

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

Games People Play is a book I enjoyed reading whilst I was studying.  Berne explores transactional analysis by way of the parent, adult and child.  I on the other hand decided to take a slightly broader look at who my characters chose as partners, their parent, child or equal.

Lets start with Milla, she thinks she wants a parent to look after her and so looks for men with power unfortunately it soon becomes clear that she will always be the victim in this situation.  Then along comes Tabatha, she doesn’t control Milla, she lays back and enjoys Milla’s courage. Tabatha is strong enough to be her equal and so neither has to fall into the victim persona.

Stacey is the mum in all aspects of her life and craves to be the child, the one who is looked after.  She doesn’t want to give her power up completely and so this relationship can only ever be casual, this way she is still in control of her life and others.

Sharon has succumb to her child fantasies with Lenny, as he worships her and keeps her captive.  Her fun in the cellar has fueled her power and now she wants to explore the world and needs a more experienced ‘Daddy’ to lead her, Harry gladly accepts her hand.

Tabatha wants to play the adult so badly she is striving for this, to be the best she can be and takes every opportunity.   When she realises that Rick wants a parent she looks elsewhere, she doesn’t want that responsibility because she knows it will weigh her down.

So what role is Harry playing?  The parent to them all, he loves the power and for a while he relies on his equal at home, his wife Lin but what happens when he has no equal?  When Lin decides it is her time to grow and not be held back by her ‘child’ Harry’s world starts to fall apart, no one has his back any more and he starts to slowly unravel.  Will Sharon be able to take on the role, is she strong enough? Or will Harry finally take control of his life, his emotions and himself.

What game are you playing? Is it your best?

My novel Sharks & Lovers is available here; Amazon, iBooks, Kobo

A Little Chaos

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“A light honest scent, natural and unforced, some of the roses here seem faded and overgrown.

That fate awaits all roses Sire.  All roses are open to the elements your majesty they bud, bloom and fade. The rose grows entirely unaware changing naturally from one state to another and although the elements may treat her cruelly she knows nothing of it and continues to her end without judgement on her beauty. Alas it is not the same for us.

If such a rose could speak what would she say?

Yes I am here and gave service under natures eye and after me my children will be. Is there any greater contribution or more graceful end?

A wise rose. And what protection can a gardner afford this rose from the harsh elements of change?

Patience, care and a little warmth from the sun are our best hope your majesty.”

Kate Winslet and Alan Rickmans exchange at court in A Little Chaos. A beautifully written film.