Horrible Halloween

It’s not often I am chained to my bed.  Who has the time to be ill! But as I awoke to the sound of thunder on Halloween and thought it quite appropriate. I didn’t realise I would be spending the whole day with my head in a plastic bag. Sitting on the toilet with the plastic bag. Both ends in simultaneous explosions.

 It’s not November the 5th you know! I thought staring at my toes.

I haven’t kept water down since last night and I am gasping. Sipping seems a waste of time but gulping is not an option.

I should be sitting here writing my book, but getting into character would be too difficult. I’m afraid I have to share this horrible Halloween with you instead.

It is strange to wander the streets on Halloween on a hot sunny afternoon. Obviously in England it will be dark by the time all the ghosts and gouls adorn their lamp light streets. It is the one time of year in Australia that I feel like I am on set of a 90’s American film with Corey Haim. It just isn’t spooky enough!

Some people distress at the thought of Halloween, perhaps it being the eve of All Saints Day. Does kind of beg the question is today All Sinners Day?

I definitely believe that we leave a little of ourselves on the Earth. I have witnessed a few little miracles from loved ones that have passed.  Luckily not on Halloween.

However I do recall a Halloween in a house we lived in England where on Halloween the electrics kept switching off. I would go to the fuse box and turn them back on only for them to short again. In the end I decided it was time for an early night.  On another occasion when staying at an old jail in Lincolnshire that had been converted into a luxury cottage.  I lay in bed and wondered at who had been kept there and how awful it had been for them. Immediately the light started to flicker, I tried to think of something else but every time I came back to that thought the light would flicker again.

There is more to this life than anyone knows and a little fun & frolics today for the kids is fantastic. It’s like any other celebration religious or otherwise as long as everyone is respectful of others, including the spirits it should be fun not feared.

I have now managed to keep fluid down for nearly twenty minutes so as usual writing has come to the rescue of my mallady.

Happy Halloween!

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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A day at The Victoria State Library

The sun was shinning today in Melbourne. It’s such a beautiful city to walk around, even when lugging my laptop. I couldn’t bring myself to get the tram up Swanston Street to the Library. The trams are fun but when the sun is shining and the people are smiling, walking is the perfect way to travel.

I wandered around the outside of the library, what a beautiful building! Then inside I sat and wrote a couple of thousand words of book two. Jodie my Aussie girl has just arrived in Kakadu and all my memories of that wonderful National Park come flooding back. I sit on the chair wiggling my legs typing away frantically. Smiling away, letting the words take over.

I wanted to go into the city to start treating this writing as a job instead of a hobby or a passion. All week I have been told just keep doing what you are doing. Book two is flowing so I am in a great place. But where is my book deal? Why hasn’t the phone rang, my email bleeped?

‘This is business, be patient’,says a friend.

‘They will be reading your manuscript, don’t worry. It takes a lot of time to read a manuscript properly’ says another friend.

The city was alive and helped keep my fire burning. Maybe someone here is reading my first book, I hope so. Sitting on a bench outside the library the hot sun beating down on my face, the wind then immediately cooling as it whistled along Longsdale Street. I realised how lucky I am to be doing what I love, I have found something that makes me happy. I’m learning every day and one day I will reach the summit, right now I’m at base camp and I’m so excited to be starting this literary hike.

When I get home from the city that Arctic wind has been at it again and my last money plant has smashed into pieces by the front door. I put them there to bring us luck more than wealth. I’m slightly addicted to symbolism. Through the bumpy times I would nurture them hoping our luck would change. Through the good times a reminder to ourselves to be lucky.

‘Did you see the pot plant has smashed’

‘Oh yeah’ I say, strangely I’m not really bothered. Last year I would have been devastated. I would worry that our luck has run out. Now I’m much more in charge of my own destiny. Of course I will need pointers along the way. I will leave a trail of breadcrumbs of some description in case I get lost, with my sense of direction it’s bound to happen! But right now I’m heading in the right direction on this yellow brick road of happiness.  If I just keep going who knows I might reach the summit one day!

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Disarm

frankie banks writing

Sometimes when I write I don’t realise the implications of the words until I sit down a few days later and re-read them.  Sometimes I don’t understand them until I have read them aloud, in front of other people. Books and words have different meanings when revisited.

When I last wrote about being disrobed and also about power I didn’t realise what I was writing and how the two have played such a major role in my life and probably many other people’s too.  We have all been disrobed by someone else, mentally, physically or emotionally.

My first job from college was a sales job. I am not cut out for sales in any way but I tried my hardest and I always smiled.  My boss would undermine me and often make me the butt of jokes.  She spoke to me as if I was and always would be the most useless employee ever to walk the earth.  I hated that women with every ounce of my being.  In fact if I saw her today I would give her a piece of my mind, I still carry that anger with me.  Once when in an appraisal she had been berating me for 10 minutes and at the end said,

‘Hit me, I know you want to, hit me and then I can sack you’

She laughed and laughed at her own remark. I can remember thinking wow this woman is sick. Was she really just trying to give me the power she knew I had.

I looked at her incredulous at this request then I just got up and walked out, the next day I resigned.  Did I take back the power by resigning? It didn’t feel like it but I was glad to be leaving.  I went into the city and found a job I loved.  However my boss there wielded the same power, although I wasn’t the victim as I managed to dodge her bullets. I watched the wounded walking around the office feeling relief that today it wasn’t me but knowing one day it could be again.

I have forgiven myself for a lot of things over the years but for some reason that first sales job sticks in my throat. I guess I didn’t really know what I was supposed to be doing in this job.  I could feel her frustration, it really just echoed mine.  I had no idea how you were supposed to put these magic sales sentences together without sounding like a complete idiot.  Maybe her frustration with me was that I had no confidence?  Perhaps she was simply steering me away from a place I didn’t need to be.  I have never tried to be in sales again and wouldn’t, know your weaknesses!

A job as a waitress was another failing.  However in that job whilst travelling I would openly admit how bad I was and laugh with the customers. I would spill champagne, juggle plates and would wrestle with wine bottles at the table trying to get the bloody cork out. I was Basil Faulty. After leaving one couple waiting for half an hour to even take their order (I had come close a couple of times but something had pulled me away) I came over and apologised only for them to laugh and reply

‘You have kept us amused for the last half an hour, don’t worry’

‘Sorry I really haven’t got a clue how this works!’ I admitted and they laughed with me while my eyes scanned the restaurant noticing table three had the wrong order, again.

Admitting when you are wrong and in over your head can be empowering. Knowing your weaknesses and embracing them can make you just as strong as knowing where you are going right. Nobody is perfect and it’s those funny idiosyncrasies that make us human, can make us laugh and endear us to each other. We can try to improve ourselves everyday of course. Striving to better our health, our wealth and education will always help us achieve more. However sitting down and having a good laugh at our struggles and strife is surely is the best recipe for growth.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Resistance is Futile

“What is good? – All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself in man.  What is bad? – All that proceeds from weakness. What is happiness? – The feeling that power increases – that a resistance is overcome…”  Nietzsche

I have overcome a resistance, a resistance to being me.  I feel empowered by this and just being me is making me extremely happy.  When I stumbled across this quote by Nietzsche this morning, I thought Yes! Yes! Yes!  This is how I feel.  I have a mental power that I have never felt before. Power to me use to mean men in suits, the educated, political power, super powers.  I certainly never thought I would associate this kind of power to me but I have grown enormously since starting to write.

Whilst I was writing my first book I attended a self-defence course.  The two guys running it were menacing to look at, however by the end of the day they had shown a softer caring side.  We spent the day learning how to get out of various grips and holds. When a muscle-bound 6 ft 10 inch guy tries to drag you away and you can easily escape his clutches, the power shifts in your favour.  It was exhilarating.  The main lesson I came away with I wrote in my notebook as soon as I got into the car, ‘Don’t resist’ to be able to break away from something that holds you, you first have to go with it.  I knew this was true in many areas of my life.

I had been carrying a huge resistance to being me, this fight had to stop.  However to be able to let go of the past I knew I had to revisit it.  Two steps forward and one step back.  I was still moving forward just very slowly.  At times whilst writing I was so submerged in the characters I would go to the shops as them, Harry often strutted around the ‘burbs’ of Melbourne checking out the totty.  At other times Milla would drag her feet along the pavement to the local supermarket and buy a huge bag of sugary sweets. Some days writing would feel as though I was sinking very slowly to the bottom of the ocean.  My hands and arms spread wide in surrender to my thoughts, no emotion just pure surrender.  It was a calm feeling not thrashing around drowning, just a surrender to my sub-conscious. As my feet touched the sandy mud at the bottom I would rise quickly, vertically to the surface, the bubbles of my exhaled breath tickling my body.  When my head broke the surface of the water, the blue of the sky was endless. I could feel every tiny sun beam penetrating the pores of my face and the water around me was warm.  It was a hug from the universe, it was progression.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Submission – the sending of a manuscript

Submission, I’ve been kind of preoccupied with this word lately.  When I would submit, what I would submit and to whom.  It’s done now, well that is I have submitted my manuscript to four publishers.  I did my homework and chose the four that I thought had published similar work to my novel.  So now the waiting game ensues.

It is strange to know that somewhere in an office in Melbourne someone could be reading my novel. Is that how it works they just sit and read? What a wonderful job.

I said to a random stranger on the beach yesterday

‘I’m not very patient!’
‘No one is patient when they really want something’ he replied

So I check my emails every morning, lunchtime and evening. I make sure that there is nothing in the spam box. It’s only been five days and can supposedly take months to get a response. No wonder it is called submission, my hands are tied.  Similar to my character Sharon who spends most of her time in the basement submitting or making others submit.

I have only just started learning about Sharon as she is a ‘sub’ (there I go again!) character in the first book.  However in book two, which I am now writing she has a voice and wow is it powerful. I guess just because you have submitted, you can keep your power.  I certainly need it to write book two.

What I really need is the strength of Harry, another character. Harry is strong physically and mentally. He wouldn’t be worrying about getting a response. He would be down the pub bragging about his book, how it will make him a millionaire! He would be in the basement with Sharon in pre-celebration of publication. God he’s cocky!

So somewhere in the CBD of Melbourne on Collins or Elizabeth Street I am laid bare for all to see and judge. Whilst here at my desk I try to let book two flow, let the characters merge. They help keep me occupied and stop me checking my inbox every five minutes.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Petrifying Truth

Every work of fiction is based on a truth.  There are many things I am learning, whilst I write but the truths that I learn every week are by far the most interesting.

I read aloud my book at the writers group I attend and listen carefully to the other members work. I have never been comfortable speaking in front of a lot of people. However I am comfortable reading my book, it’s part of me now. We all share our souls, some pain and some love.  In all of our work even when fictional and funny there is a truth that we share.  How powerful the written word is when the writing is honest and we are really listening.  It cuts through the mess, can disrobe the barer, it can even disrobe the listener if they are willing.

As well as my book, I read one of my blog pieces out last week and had to read the word petrified.  I had practised the short piece at home a loud before hand and it was fine.  However as we went around the table and I knew my turn was coming I could feel my stomach tighten.  It was my turn and as I started to read my throat got dry and my voice was shaking, I came to the word I did not know until now was a problem, petrified.  As I said the word aloud my hands were shaking, I was an eleven year old again, petrified.  My throat seized and the anger rose from my stomach, I shook my head and let out an exasperated sigh.  I passed the writing to our teacher and he carried on reading it. I knew if I could get past the word the end was sure to get a laugh and it did but just not from me.

It is amazing how one word can hold onto a memory as if you are still there, but we are not still anywhere.  We can only be in this moment, yes we can remember and yes we can project into the future but we can only ever be right here, right now.  I have practised that word over and over in front of the mirror and it now has no hold over me, I wonder if everyone has one word they find hard to say aloud?  If they are even aware of it?

At the end of our road is a beach that is supposedly a nudist beach.  I have only ever seen people walking their dogs or playing with their children, it is hard to think that these people in a couple of months when the sun is hot will be naked.  However if they are, good for them. I can understand the liberation of being unclothed. That is their truth, however lumpy or bumpy, wobbly or knobbly. How beautiful to let it all hang out and be comfortable with every inch of your skin, every inch of your being.  I’m not sure I am ready to brave the nudist beach, however I will keep writing my truths and baring my soul, if not my skin just yet!

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Memory of me

One night I got up in the middle of the night and wrote this;

‘If everyone could erase just one memory from their mind, would we be the same people? Would we feel the same emotions? Would we make the same judgements?’

I am sure we can all think of something we would like to get rid of.  Mine is vivid and comes to me when I least expect it, like a tap on the shoulder.  Sometimes it’s more like a punch in the stomach.  I didn’t realise how long I had carried so much emotion locked up in this one memory.  This tiny part of my history, just a few hours really and yet the emotion of it had sat at the bottom of my chest where my ribs meet, for years.  Sometimes it would swell and reach up into my throat preventing me from talking.  Sometimes it would bloat and my sides would ache trying to keep it in.  Mainly I thought of it as a cactus sitting between my ribs.  I’m glad to say it’s gone now.  I feel a lot lighter without it and a lot happier.

I was abroad when I realised it had gone, after months of reconciling my emotions to past events.  Finally I was finding peace not fault in myself.  I looked in the mirror, and glanced down at my chest, obviously this pain, this cactus had never been visible to the naked eye.  The pressure had gone, my hand searched between my ribs just to make sure, it was definitely gone.  I was elated, I nearly gave myself a high five in the mirror, I was that happy!

On the plane on the way home I had a surreal moment when I realised I had let go, buried or even killed the child inside me.  It had been a long time since I saw the world through their eyes.  I knew that I now needed to be patient.  As I had learnt over the last few months awareness is just the first step.  I hoped they would come back and play in my imagination, we could have such fun!  However I didn’t realise the secret that that child held, no wonder they had disappeared.  That dark cellar had only just begun to reveal what lurked behind the shadows.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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The Shifting of Persona

When deciding to start writing and to delve deeper into who I am, there were many strange occurrences.  I was realising what made me tick and the parts of me I didn’t like.  I stopped drinking wine during the week and then Feb Fast came along and I decided to give alcohol a miss for the whole month!  If I was trying to find the real me, there was no point masking it with alcohol. I also stopped eating sugar, the highs and lows weren’t helping.  I would wake in the middle of the night from a lucid dream and quickly start writing at my laptop, almost sleep writing.  Sometimes it would be from the characters and sometimes just whatever I needed to get out of my head.  It was all useful.  At the end of February I was skyping my parents and my mum said,

‘You look younger every time we skype’

“I feel it!’ I replied

The paring back of my persona was actually changing my appearance, or was it just the lack of sugar and alcohol? I did notice the corner of my eyes widen.  I then noticed my friends and family were either showing me another side to themselves, or I was becoming more aware of them.  I felt huge guilt at being so blind to these vulnerabilities of the people I love.  Had I spent such a long time not understanding myself, that I didn’t understand anyone else either.  Peoples faces started to look different to me, softer.

I have always had a lot of energy, somewhere along the road I think I trapped it inside, afraid of what it could or would do if I let it out.  It was time to find that energy, I knew exactly where it was.  It was a place I didn’t particularly want to go but we all have to face our demons at some point!

I am standing at the top of the stairs that lead down into the dark cellar.  I am petrified, this is where my fear comes from.  The huge heavy door that I have managed to open is behind me.  I need someone to hold my hand, or at least tie a rope around me so that they can pull me back if I get lost.  Jung did say not to enter into this individuation process alone, now I know why!

I phone a friend and explain that I am standing at the top of the stairs leading down to the dark cellar.  The heavy door that I have opened is behind me.  Luckily my friend is even crazier than me, completely understanding my frustration at the situation. He says,

‘Find the bloody light switch’

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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Southend Ice Cream – Rossi’s

Whilst writing my novel, there are a few Southend ‘Institutions’ that I keep revisiting and therefore so do my characters.  The top of the pops has to be Rossi’s, my characters are often popping in for an ice cream whenever they like.  I unfortunately have to rely on memories, it being around 9,442 miles away from where I currently reside in Australia.

Seafront Ice Cream

You will never find ice cream as pure white as Rossi’s. There is something about the wind blowing in your face walking along Southend pier eating a Rossi’s. My grandad was a ‘Seafront Trader’ and so he always had an industrial sized bucket of this snow-white heaven in his freezer.  Nan would always serve it with wafers, for dessert, or as we knew it ‘afters’.  I would sit in their dining room eating out of the china bowl, on my best behaviour, enjoying every silver spoonful slowly.

Working Ice cream

Spending the school summer holidays working in my granddad’s confectionery  factory along the seafront was hot work, and occasionally on a Friday or an unusually hot summers day, out would come the Rossi’s ice cream. Whispers of a possible ‘Rossi’s’  would start presumably with the sugar boilers who had the hottest and heaviest work. News would then reach the girls sitting along the wrapping bench, always hot with gossip even on a cold day.  Eventually news would reach us humble packers, ‘I think a Rossi’s is coming’. Served between two wafers in an ice cream sandwich, it didn’t really matter how it was served.  When it was summer in the factory, anything to cool the hot-headed and hot handed was appreciated.

Restaurant Ice cream

The trips I had to the inside of Rossi’s Restaurant were few and far between.  One that I do remember was after Sunday School when my best friends parents had picked us up, then down to the seafront we drove.  My friend decided to have the Nickabockaglory, this huge mess that I couldn’t quite comprehend whilst I had a simple tub of lemon sorbet.  My mouth watering with every spoonful.

My Dad would say, ‘Lets go for a Rossi’s shall we?’ on a Sunday after lunch with my other Nan.  Although to be honest she was more of a Tomassi’s fan (which has apparently been in Southend for over 75 years!, Rossi just piping them to the post having been trading over 80 years), Tomassi’s owned another ice cream parlour in Southend which I went in a few times with Nan.

School Ice Cream

Then there was the ice cream van at High School, Nancy obviously a real live ‘Rossi’ she was a lovely tiny Italian lady always ready with a smile but would not put up with any naughty business.  My taste in ice cream had matured at this point as I would indulge in a ‘Popeye’, (ice cream in a cornet with an ice lolly dunked in the top). On the odd occasion that I hadn’t spent all my lunch money on cigarettes, chocolate or chips an extra special treat would be an Oyster, (two wafer shells filled with chocolate and desiccated coconut on the outside with ice cream and white marshmallow at the centre). Wow, maybe I should think about importing these to Australia!  Obviously they do have Ice Cream but I have not yet found a Rossi’s!

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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In Training

Training – Psychology

Ten years ago, I started a psychology degree at The University of East London; I didn’t exactly fall easily back into education, I was in training. Holding down a full-time job in the city at the same time wasn’t easy.  I seemed to spend most of my waking hours on the cramped London Underground scribbling down experimental ideas and endings of essays.  I did however fall in love with the work of Carl Gustav Jung.  In February this year when I found myself contemplating life and the universe I decided to get back to Jung.  Drawing on his teachings, I started my own individuation process and what came out of it was the beginning of a book. Characters that have obviously been living in my wildest imagination, I love spending time there so it’s not surprising I have made some friends along the way!

For those not familiar with Jung’s ‘individuation’ it is self-exploration.  Looking into your persona, your self, your ego and your shadow, don’t worry the shadow I’ll save for a rainy day!  Finding what lurks in your subconscious is not always pretty.  Paring back past the persona that I project into the world, I started to look behind my eyes at my self.  I needed to deal with some huge feelings of guilt and loneliness, love and hate, self-doubt, confidence and power.

Training – Body

Starting  a new fitness regime called Tough Training; exercise for me had always been about losing fat not building muscle.  I was drawn to the name because I knew I needed to be tough again. The advert of the muscly trainers was very impressive.  At the end of my first session I couldn’t believe how mentally exhausted I was after an amazingly physical workout.  After stumbling back to my car my face was still a shade of crimson.  I sat there looking down at my feet and could not remember which pedal was the accelerator and which was the break.  How can I forget something that I do everyday? Surely, this skill is ingrained in my sub-conscious, never mind my consciousness.  Then of course, I needed to decide which foot to use.  What a metaphor of my life, I had forgotten when to accelerate and when to slow down and even how to do it.  I then realised I had been driving an automatic car for nearly 2 years now.  Could the lack of physically changing gear be decreasing my mental ability to shift gear?

As the weeks went by and I delved deeper into my psyche I lifted weights heavier than I ever thought possible. Training was developing new skills to deal with my emotional state, not just my physical well-being.  I was learning when to reset, accelerate, focus, and recognising when to catch my breath. These invaluable tools were making me mentally not just physically stronger.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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