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Escape

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com / 1 Comment

Being divorced and a single Mum is extremely liberating but like anything that is rewarding it’s also hard work and a huge amount of responsibility. There are many “women’s divorce counsellors” pointing the finger at men who don’t communicate, are controlling and narcissistic. Personally, I’ve met far more women who show their narcissistic traits as a badge of honour!

I can’t help but feel admiration for any man or woman who is a provider because it’s bloody hard work and perhaps we are all just finding ways to escape the drudge of it all?

I often return to childhood to escape the mundane tasks of adulthood. Put the music on loud to do the cleaning, treat myself to a cake when I’m feeling down, sing loudly in the car to release frustration and of course my all time favourite return to childhood, write it out of my head and onto the page. All of these mechanisms to escape reality or to cope are generally healthy but what about the ones that aren’t? I had a realisation this week about clinging onto our childhood and what a negative role this can have rather than positive.

We think of the child in us as the free spirit, the creative but they can also be the confused or fearful part of ourselves as we replay past childhood behaviours, playground behaviour. The what if instead of the secure knowing.

Where else is there to escape to, is ego an option? Could you list all the great and wonderful achievements you have created or simply talk about them to others. Some create great business models out of this so yes this could be an option! Perhaps social media is the ego coping mechanism; pics of the one time in the month you look and feel ok.

Shadow is a great place to lurk, watching scary movies, or getting dressed up and pretending to be someone else for the night. I watched an actor talk about how he had played a serial killer on stage for two months and he felt walking home from the theater that he was still in character! Hesitantly he explained to the interviewer as his face perceptibly changed from light and happy to dark and sullen, I found myself envious of being able to go that deep into the darkness, what a gift!

I feel a new kind of writing erupting from these thoughts perhaps it’s a murder mystery!

Where do you escape to?

Noosa

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

I was trying third person writing whilst away this July in Noosa. I didn’t publish it at the time because I didn’t like it but it’s grown on me a bit more now.


Noosa

He walked along the shoreline looking out onto the river, under the surface of the water he knew the fish were territorial. The flat glass surface reflecting the suns glinting rays however showed no sign of this underworld.  Just as the pretty girls that walked the riverside their bodies happily bouncing showed no signs of the venom that Tom had experienced. No sign at all on their beautiful faces or their long smooth legs. They should come with warning signs! thought Tom.

Jules had been his latest jilter. Tom was a tall lad 6ft 3, broad shoulders and an even broader smile. Girls fell for him even before he opened his mouth and his Irish lilt spilled out, showering their small pretty ears with gifts of kindness and compliments. The problem was that Tom would bestow these kind gifts on anyone and everyone. They were not precious stones only occasionally found glinting in the sun, they were showers of light that would pour out of him. Sharing was his gift, he knew no other way.  At first a beautiful sight but all too soon the receiver of these gems would want them all to herself, would want the sharing to stop.

These wonderful women didn’t think he would stick around. The next pretty girls head to turn was after all just across the road or serving him his next skinny cap.

Noosa was a seasonal resort and Tom hadn’t yet suffered a summer when the stifling heat was like wading through a sickly sweet soup. Tom was a dreamer and the next road trip had always been just a pay check away until now.  He had fallen for Jules and had spent slow Sexy evenings sharing wine by the river, wrapping her up in soft blankets so that his hands could wander free. 

He had also fallen for Noosa, the river had a vibe of its own different to the beach and the buzz of Main Street. He could easily settle here. What he had failed to tell Jules was that he had citizenship and could stay wherever he chose but he didn’t want her to know, he didn’t want to give anyone that power again and so Toms vicious circle kept turning, except this time he had found its axis.