Persona

Behind Closed Doors

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

Persona

It seems many of us have spent the last ten years creating the most fabulous Facebook personality, the ever positive, always looking on the bright side, never swaying from sanity persona but now we are faced with the real us! Are we the conspiracy theorist, the placid follower or the rebellious vigilante? Are we the next self help guru trying hard to believe our own scripts?

The real life version of our selves has started to reveal itself on social media as we grapple with the global pandemic. It’s interesting to see the shift in persona. Who we are when we’re at home behind closed doors, when the camera is off, the light isn’t hiding the double chin and our eyes aren’t focused in exactly the right direction.  Suddenly this person seems to be visible, this version has uncloaked itself for all to see.

Being house bound during lock down means not dressing up for work and not making our face perfect. So who are you when you are stripped down to your baggy tracksuit, pj’s, dressing gown or jeans n T? For most of us we are the same but maybe with more shadow than light, more critic and less forgiveness. This person also has an opinion, a voice and a public face. Although it might not be the one we all want and hope to see or portray.

Introvert vs Extrovert

 Are these ‘extroverts’ the angry protesters? Or are these extroverts simply introverting the anger of nations until it eventually explodes? We all have an extrovert in us, the one that is all over social media where no real exchange can be given.

The Introvert, one may presume self isolation is more suited, someone who actually enjoys their own company enough to feel energised by it. However presumably this time by themselves means on their own, not surrounded by all the other people in the house self isolating with them!

Extrovert is not necessarily the life and soul of the party but just someone who energises themselves with other people’s company. There is no wrong or right and we all change on a daily basis how introverted or extrovert we feel. Right now neither are probably getting the right degree of energy! Both equally frustrated.

The Self

Whilst we may be stripped back to bare all with no material influences at the moment perhaps that is a good thing.  The blossom tree can be just as beautiful in the winter months, the closed flower as enticing. Perhaps the persona and ego don’t mind taking a back seat once in a while.  Maybe we are realising there is so much more to life than social media and creating a false reality, the self is actually far more interesting!

S.E.L.F

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com


Just like most writers I have many projects on the go and sometimes find my head spinning with which one to concentrate on. 

I thought I would take a little time to talk about my S.E.L.F book project as this has been left on the shelf for far too long.

When I started writing my novels I used Jung’s Individuation process to breakdown situations from the perspective of Self, Ego, Shadow, Persona and Animas. Then the characters grew and their opinions became stronger. I didn’t realise at the time of writing that even the sub characters fell into these five categories, (they were probably the parts of my self that I didn’t much like!).

Jung has always been my hero and teacher. His philosophies are always where I turn when I feel I am lost and don’t understand. Knowledge surely has to start with your self.

So my theory is that writing using Jung’s process can help gain many perspectives on situations, people and problems. It breaks things down into manageable bite size pieces and gives insights into many views. It really has been therapy for me and if it can help me I’m pretty sure it can help other people too. That is why I have written my S.E.L.F Writing Solution.

Having spoken to my wonderful therapist friend Renate she has given me lots of suggested reading which I cannot wait to start. She always manages to make you look at things differently which is sometimes a welcome relief. So I will be swotting up on Salvador Minuchin, Virginia Satir, Erik Erikson and Irvin Yalom and many more.

Watch this space for a very different book from Frankie, hmmmm now which one is she!?

Renate Hoffmann can also be found on LinkedIn. Thank you Renate

The Shifting of Persona

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

When deciding to start writing and to delve deeper into who I am, there were many strange occurrences.  I was realising what made me tick and the parts of me I didn’t like.  I stopped drinking wine during the week and then Feb Fast came along and I decided to give alcohol a miss for the whole month!  If I was trying to find the real me, there was no point masking it with alcohol. I also stopped eating sugar, the highs and lows weren’t helping.  I would wake in the middle of the night from a lucid dream and quickly start writing at my laptop, almost sleep writing.  Sometimes it would be from the characters and sometimes just whatever I needed to get out of my head.  It was all useful.  At the end of February I was skyping my parents and my mum said,

‘You look younger every time we skype’

“I feel it!’ I replied

The paring back of my persona was actually changing my appearance, or was it just the lack of sugar and alcohol? I did notice the corner of my eyes widen.  I then noticed my friends and family were either showing me another side to themselves, or I was becoming more aware of them.  I felt huge guilt at being so blind to these vulnerabilities of the people I love.  Had I spent such a long time not understanding myself, that I didn’t understand anyone else either.  Peoples faces started to look different to me, softer.

I have always had a lot of energy, somewhere along the road I think I trapped it inside, afraid of what it could or would do if I let it out.  It was time to find that energy, I knew exactly where it was.  It was a place I didn’t particularly want to go but we all have to face our demons at some point!

I am standing at the top of the stairs that lead down into the dark cellar.  I am petrified, this is where my fear comes from.  The huge heavy door that I have managed to open is behind me.  I need someone to hold my hand, or at least tie a rope around me so that they can pull me back if I get lost.  Jung did say not to enter into this individuation process alone, now I know why!

I phone a friend and explain that I am standing at the top of the stairs leading down to the dark cellar.  The heavy door that I have opened is behind me.  Luckily my friend is even crazier than me, completely understanding my frustration at the situation. He says,

‘Find the bloody light switch’

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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