publication

Reading Returned

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Reading a passion returned

One good thing that came out of the covid 19 lockdown was my passion for reading returned! Mentors by Russell Brand was an interesting book, I know we all need mentors in our life but not many people actively seek them out, most of the time they occur by accident, not intention. This story of mentors and mentoring was inspiring, from his therapists through to teachers and trainers. I wonder if he had not been an addict, admitted to being an addict or received help, would he had discovered mentors at all? The quote stuck with me and was my takeaway from the book;

“We are first a parent to ourselves”

Brand was questioning what right did he have to be a parent or mentor to a tiny human when he had not mentored or parented himself very well. A great question that perhaps many of us should ask! However would the human race survive if any of us were truthful with the answer? Self care is now a hot topic but 50 years ago did it go by another name or simply not exist? Through mentoring we can realise our own strengths and weaknesses and hopefully develop ourselves and others. Everyone has something to offer by way of advice and lessons learnt, if advice is sought surely it is a human responsibility to mentor.

A Room of One’s Own – Virginia Woolfe

Having owned a hard copy of this book for about 10 years I have picked it up four or five times to read without success. I knew it was a book that as a woman I should read but every time I started it overwhelmed me; I didn’t understand what Virginia Woolfe was trying to say!

Listening was easier; the narrator was an actress from many period dramas  and it was as if Virginia Woolf herself was in the room. This is not a work of fiction or memoir, I realised; this is an essay! Finally it clicked I could hear the words for what they were, researched opinion.

It was funny, insightful with strong feminist views that I enjoyed hearing. It made me proud to be a woman and want to write more compelling stories myself.  I have also read two more essay style memoirs; Phosphorescence by Julia Baird and The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates both definitely worth a read for any women needing a powerful pick me up.

The Barefoot investor – Scott Pape

Well this was a relief; I realised I was doing a lot of things right with my finances. Amazingly it made me realise how happy I am and also how to plan more effectively for my future. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone wanting to save or increase their wealth. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it is only for the wealthy!

What are you listening to?

 

Resistance is Futile

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“What is good? – All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself in man.  What is bad? – All that proceeds from weakness. What is happiness? – The feeling that power increases – that a resistance is overcome…”  Nietzsche

I have overcome a resistance, a resistance to being me.  I feel empowered by this and just being me is making me extremely happy.  When I stumbled across this quote by Nietzsche this morning, I thought Yes! Yes! Yes!  This is how I feel.  I have a mental power that I have never felt before. Power to me use to mean men in suits, the educated, political power, super powers.  I certainly never thought I would associate this kind of power to me but I have grown enormously since starting to write.

Whilst I was writing my first book I attended a self-defence course.  The two guys running it were menacing to look at, however by the end of the day they had shown a softer caring side.  We spent the day learning how to get out of various grips and holds. When a muscle-bound 6 ft 10 inch guy tries to drag you away and you can easily escape his clutches, the power shifts in your favour.  It was exhilarating.  The main lesson I came away with I wrote in my notebook as soon as I got into the car, ‘Don’t resist’ to be able to break away from something that holds you, you first have to go with it.  I knew this was true in many areas of my life.

I had been carrying a huge resistance to being me, this fight had to stop.  However to be able to let go of the past I knew I had to revisit it.  Two steps forward and one step back.  I was still moving forward just very slowly.  At times whilst writing I was so submerged in the characters I would go to the shops as them, Harry often strutted around the ‘burbs’ of Melbourne checking out the totty.  At other times Milla would drag her feet along the pavement to the local supermarket and buy a huge bag of sugary sweets. Some days writing would feel as though I was sinking very slowly to the bottom of the ocean.  My hands and arms spread wide in surrender to my thoughts, no emotion just pure surrender.  It was a calm feeling not thrashing around drowning, just a surrender to my sub-conscious. As my feet touched the sandy mud at the bottom I would rise quickly, vertically to the surface, the bubbles of my exhaled breath tickling my body.  When my head broke the surface of the water, the blue of the sky was endless. I could feel every tiny sun beam penetrating the pores of my face and the water around me was warm.  It was a hug from the universe, it was progression.

My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:

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