Being divorced and a single Mum is extremely liberating but like anything that is rewarding it’s also hard work and a huge amount of responsibility. There are many “women’s divorce counsellors” pointing the finger at men who don’t communicate, are controlling and narcissistic. Personally, I’ve met far more women who show their narcissistic traits as a badge of honour!
I can’t help but feel admiration for any man or woman who is a provider because it’s bloody hard work and perhaps we are all just finding ways to escape the drudge of it all?
I often return to childhood to escape the mundane tasks of adulthood. Put the music on loud to do the cleaning, treat myself to a cake when I’m feeling down, sing loudly in the car to release frustration and of course my all time favourite return to childhood, write it out of my head and onto the page. All of these mechanisms to escape reality or to cope are generally healthy but what about the ones that aren’t? I had a realisation this week about clinging onto our childhood and what a negative role this can have rather than positive.
We think of the child in us as the free spirit, the creative but they can also be the confused or fearful part of ourselves as we replay past childhood behaviours, playground behaviour. The what if instead of the secure knowing.
Where else is there to escape to, is ego an option? Could you list all the great and wonderful achievements you have created or simply talk about them to others. Some create great business models out of this so yes this could be an option! Perhaps social media is the ego coping mechanism; pics of the one time in the month you look and feel ok.
Shadow is a great place to lurk, watching scary movies, or getting dressed up and pretending to be someone else for the night. I watched an actor talk about how he had played a serial killer on stage for two months and he felt walking home from the theater that he was still in character! Hesitantly he explained to the interviewer as his face perceptibly changed from light and happy to dark and sullen, I found myself envious of being able to go that deep into the darkness, what a gift!
I feel a new kind of writing erupting from these thoughts perhaps it’s a murder mystery!
Where do you escape to?
