single parent

Tinder All The Way!

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

That was my mantra whilst my babies were abroad, I hung up my apron and concentrated on being Me not Mum.  It’s actually a great excuse to meet new people, coffee’s, lunches, exhibitions, new bars and yes the inevitable, well hopefully, love of course. What were You thinking?

Meeting lots of new men in the space of three weeks I’ve realised how lonely we all are as a human race. To hold someone else’s hand, to have someone to vent to, someone that checks in to see how your day is going, this is now an app, not a normal state of being!

Most of us are in a very vulnerable state when tindering, nervously excited, we are all fragile souls, well the ones over 40 are anyway! Those 31 year olds still have the superman spirit of a teenager!

I have met men who have been in the armed forces, prison, fostered, looked after by brothers and sisters. I’ve met high flyers, miners and pilots but can honestly say and I wasn’t expecting this at all, I have met some of the kindest humans. Tinder has given me back my love of humanity that the two years of lockdown tried to take away.

Love is still the ultimate goal for many on tinder and if that love arrives in the form of a new friendship, surely that’s still progress?

So if you’re single, go mingle! You might just be surprised by what you find.

Single Parents

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com

As a single parent I thought I would join a single parents online group to see how others cope with going it alone! I was looking for support as most of my friends are married or living with new partners (tried that didn’t work, Kathryn Ryan is right, I love dolphins but I don’t want to live with one of those either!).

After a couple of weeks in the group I’d followed a few threads about meeting up via zoom, which never fell on the days I don’t have the kids so that didn’t work. I didn’t want to talk about strategy or vulnerabilities in front of my troops!

I followed threads and commented a bit but something wasn’t quite fitting. I was seeing posts from proud dads with their sons woodwork project. Photos of Mums in the park with their kids. Then there were the other photos, the roast dinner, bottle of wine and fire in the background and the ‘new selfie’ with her off the shoulder jumper.

All of a sudden it dawned on me, is this a ‘Single‘ parents group or a single ‘Parents’ group? It seemed some of us were looking for very different kinds of comfort. I told my manfriend that I had joined the group. His reaction was hard to read. I am a single parent doing this on my own I’m just looking for like minded parents. It’s not like I was window shopping on tinder, that’s so last year and hello, Covid alert!

A week later the group name changed to Single Mums & Dads. Well that didn’t clarify anything for me, I thought I’d message someone on there and see what they thought. Well the reply of photo half naked in a hot tub was self explanatory, he should of been on tinder and I should have read between the lines!

Single Mum on the Run

/ frankiebanks27@gmail.com


It’s funny how you can wander along the same road everyday and never notice the architecture, the people behind the windows or maybe the goblin looking down from the pitched roof. Sometimes you need to take a break and walk a different route before you can see the details plainly.

I planned to go to Alice Springs this week and attend the writers festival there and yet I realised whilst on the road it wasn’t a destination I needed, just a different perspective.

We ended up in Adelaide but could have been anywhere, I needed some time on my own with my kids to think about our future. It was my first trip as a single parent and it’s amazing how different that felt, at first the odd one out, needing to be stronger with no one else to lean on but then relaxing and realising it’s not so different after all.

All we needed was a room to feel safe and together, we watched the ‘box tv’ (as my son called it) and snuggled on the double bed.  In the morning when they came back in to tell me all about their dreams and how well they had slept that gift was better than any beach view, infinity pool or breakfast on the balcony.

Being on the road simplifies life and suddenly your goals, dreams, wants and needs all seem to align. The important things surfacing above the millions of choices we have to make everyday.