In my life D.V has been prevalent, maybe not glaringly obvious and perhaps not discussed as much as it should be but it’s there in all our lives. To think that I witnessed this as a child in a neighbouring house and thought that it was a funny game scares me as an adult as much as the ‘boogeyman’ scared me as a child. We were so busy looking for Mr Boogeyman that the abuser could hide.

I don’t want my daughter to find herself in a DV relationship wether that be emotionally manipulative, financially manipulative or physically manipulative. The continuous word here is manipulation and that is how it starts and ends.

I thoroughly enjoyed going back to education to study criminal law and D.V was a huge part of that. To learn that 60 percent of crime in Victoria is DV related was astonishing! The phrase ‘eyes wide shut’ springs to mind.

We have a perception that these awful things happen to others or are a socioeconomic problem, however as with drugs and alcohol, DV exists in every socioeconomic situation. Money doesn’t buy sanity, money does try to normalise toxic behaviour.

In my close circle of friends I’ve witnessed DV and ignored it, as I’m sure we all have. In a world where speaking out or POV as my kids would call it is now allowed. Let’s all be aware and if necessary make others aware too. Sometimes we live in a bubble and that bubble needs to be burst.

Cars have been tracked, Microsoft accounts hacked, houses broken into, stalking, financial abuse, emotional manipulation, obsessive behaviour, compulsive behaviour, generally developing from jealousy and insecurity and that’s only what one person has witnessed.

So why am I writing this now? A conversation with a guy whose sister was killed last year in a DV attack. His words made me stop in my tracks and brought a shadow to a normally bright and sunny day.

‘I tried to help and get her out of the situation but she just kept going back’

Helpless and hopeless is all that entered my mind. And yet this guy tried his best, not like most of us that look the other way.

I can’t speak for other violence however I do know that DV is at its most heightened when the victim/survivor pulls away, when the game is slipping away from the perpetrator. This is a critical stage at which support is required in abundance.

It’s on the news every day, it’s actually in our lives every day so before it gets to that point of no return, let’s make sure we know what’s right and wrong in a relationship and NOT let even the slightest manipulative behaviour breed.

Merry Christmas! – more positive posts to come I promise xxx