We all have a foe in our lives.

Whilst chatting with a girlfriend at our usual beach cafe I started to share the woes of an extremely ‘not for profit’ relationship I had experienced a while ago. You know the ones, put everything in and get nothing out other than an overwhelming feeling that you are being ‘good’ by keeping the status quo and continuing to give.

My friend who then as with the way of friendship took her turn to tell me about Harry, an old boyfriend who was still following her around when he could. (Another not for profit relationship). All of a sudden I realised everyone has a foe, that person that you can’t ever seem to make disappear, however much you try. They hang around and try to bleed you dry of your kindness.

This foe is manipulative and disruptive and more stubborn than a 2 yr old. They won’t let go because they know you’re an easy target. You want to please and be good and love everyone and so they exploit your good nature.

The foe wave however as with most waves ends in a crash, in Australia those beautiful, dramatic, chaotic waves can put you in the ‘wash cycle’. Your head spinning, the wave dumping you on the shore, literally washed up. Sand in every crevice, and that horrible tingling in your sinuses making you nauseous.

‘Harry is your foe not your friend’ I tell her and we laugh at this strange old fashioned word.

‘I’ve know him for so long’ she says in defense.

Just because you are aware of your foe it doesn’t mean you actually want to let them go. They bring excitement that you have become accustomed to. Your kindness to them is a cycle you know and enjoy.

You continue your walk in the sunshine the squalls of seagulls warning you of the next predator. However you’re too stunned by the last trauma to see that this is just another foe walking towards you surrounding you with their devastating charm, this one has its own banana boat, what could possibly go wrong?