I thought I’d map out what has happened this year. In February I started writing my first fictional novel, my aim was to finish this by December. Then at Swinburne Uni I was told ‘write everyday’. My good friend bought me a planning diary and I soon realised my manuscript would be finished way before Christmas! In fact it was finished in July. All 67,000 words of it, I actually wrote more like 80,000 but edited it down. I think it fits in the genre of Chick Lit, a friend said it could be Bridget Jones meets Monkey Grip.
Frankie’s Fiction
It was busy on the train into Flinders Street but Sarah managed to get a seat. The man opposite catching glances in her direction was about her fathers age and ruggedly handsome. Sarah’s phone beeped and she looked down.
Running five minutes late, meet you inside the NGV
She looked out of the window noticing some of the tin roofs passing by. It had been a long time since she had stayed with her Gran in Warburton. She loved thinking back to the nights she had spent laying in her bed listening to the rain hammering on the roof. The sound would send her off to sleep and at other times would wake her up with huge crashing thunder and lightning. Luckily their house never got hit, she knew a few in Warby that had.
Seven Lessons
I thought I would list the biggest lessons I have learnt this year as we head towards 2016.
Letting Go – Petrified
After watching the tragic end of Anna Karenina. I realised there was something I needed to look at and let go. In previous posts I have talked about finding my inner child. Feeling so pleased to have her back I was ignoring the fact that she wasn’t very happy. Trying to give her a voice and indulging her in childish games wasn’t working, she needed to let go of something. Continue reading
Competition
I have found something I want to be competitive in! It will take a lot of time to get this writing right. Time and practice but that’s ok. Having written book one in 6 months I decided to try and write book two in eight weeks. Just under ten thousand words a week should be pretty easy, I thought.
Getting in the flow and staying there is the tricky part. I can go to a cafe and get far too embroiled with the goings on around me. I can let my imagination really go and then go completely off tangent. Then all of a sudden the magic happens. My fingers are typing away and I am not actually thinking about what comes next. The characters take over and tell their story. For a split second I force myself back to reality to grab a sip of coffee and revel in this fantastic flow. I smile and then continue.
Marvellous Mistakes – Editing
Editing my first book was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done mentally for a long while. After rearranging the content of the book three or four times I was sick of the sight of it!
‘Know your book inside and out before approaching anyone with it!’
How can you not know it inside and out when you have read the bloody thing five times! Frustration started to creep in and I still needed to tackle the grammar and punctuation. Arguments with the proofing tool could go on for hours! Never mind saving expletives for dramatic effect. I was aiming them all directly at my stilted reflection in the laptop.
Top Tips from Published Authors
Now that I am nearing the end of book two, I was thinking about how I got to this point. I thought I would share with you the top tips from published authors that have kept me writing.
- Write Every Day
- Follow your passion
- Keep the rise and fall
- Don’t be discouraged by the first draft, just get the mess out there
- Trust your gut
- Keep reading
- Keep learning
I don’t think you can go far wrong with those seven. If anyone has any others please post!
My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:
Anna Karenina & Suicide
‘Oh Anna’ I sigh. As she knelt on the tracks and drew her last breath (the television adaption, A Beautiful Lie). I wanted hedonistic Harry (one of my characters) to stroll out of the dark tunnel. He would gather up this exhausted girl into his strong arms and carry her off into the sunset.
Anna’s story has been following me around Melbourne. I was on a train to the city, when it was stopped at Carrum as a woman was threatening to commit suicide. This woman could have been our modern day Anna. I’m sure whatever emotions were running through her head were very similar to those of Anna’s grief and isolation. I hope our modern day Anna found someone to listen to her.
Suicide is one of those taboo’s that we don’t talk about isn’t it. Maybe because I find myself in the happiest place mentally I think I have ever been. I feel the strength to have this conversation.
About 12 years ago I began my obsession with a large oak tree in a country lane. I would drive past it nearly everyday on the way to town. I always thought that tree would do the trick should I ever need assistance in the death department. There was no heavy opera music to accompany this thought, it was very matter of fact. That tree somehow gave me comfort, I would smile as I passed it, at the secret we shared. I would sometimes drive faster to reach it. However I could never quite bring myself to turn the wheel and face the car in its direction. When I felt the life sucked out of me these thoughts seemed perfectly rational. Luckily I never followed through with my strange exit plan. I dug myself out of that hole and I surrounded myself with wonderful people and beautiful things.
A few years later news came through the village that a Dad had taken his life by crashing his car into a tree. As I heard the news my face reddened and my heart beat faster. That awful childish guilt of having had the same idea. But this wasn’t stealing plimsoles or gambling marbles, this was life or death. Had his tree passed him by for weeks like mine? Had he smiled in acknowledgment at his tree too, knowing that if one day he felt that bad there was an easy solution? Or was it a split second decision? We will never know. I thought about his wife and children. It must be awful to be the one picking up the pieces, the one left behind that has to carry on.
‘Wasn’t it just an accident?’ I asked one of the ladies, her frown and sadness reflecting mine. I was hoping the village grapevine had got the story wrong.
‘No’ was the short reply, there are few words when it comes to suicide. We both looked down at our feet, what more was there to say.
I was shocked. This secret that I had kept was someone else’s too. If I had met him in the pub would we have discussed the amount of large oak trees that lined the country road to town?
Isn’t it awful that we keep our deepest most powerful thoughts to ourselves for fear of being labelled? Surely letting the dark stuff out immediately takes the burden from our shoulders and makes us lighter, more able to float through life. We grow stronger because we are admitting the truth.
JK Rowling’s description of depression as the dark ‘dementors’ sucking the life out of you is awesome. I’m sure a lot of people felt relief at this description. Relief to know you are not alone. I’m glad to say I have never felt that low again. We all carry the gun powder and the match, lets not ignite it.
I have worried about this piece of writing and how it will be perceived. It has been sitting in my ‘drafts’ for a couple of weeks now. I think it’s time to let it go.
Anna’s story and The Beautiful Lie ended up for me to be the most beautiful truth. Truth and honesty is what makes good writing. Sometimes even the writer does not know where that lies.
My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:
The Ping of Hope
I get home from my writing group and turn on the laptop. Jodie and Tabitha are in Jabiru, Northern Territory, Australia and it’s about 38 degrees. They sit together in the pub supping beer, laughing and joking. As the sun fades on the horizon their eyes reflect the changing light on the escarpment. After a hard weeks work Victoria Bitter has quenched the girls thirst and soothed their tired limbs but there is an ache they share that VB can’t touch.
Ping!
Finally an email from a publisher, I read it and let out a little scream. They ask me to send more chapters! This is great, they want more. I take the liberty of sending them more from book one but also some chapters of book two which I am now nearly half way through. I arrange my documents ready to send back, read and re-read. Please love it.
I’m so excited and yet I realise this is a drop in the ocean, I might never hear back again. Stay positive, believe. I will get that book deal.
My hunger for this is now quite ferocious. I growl at the laptop as I send my email back trying to send my energy too.
‘Come on let’s do this!’ I say sounding curiously like a tennis player giving themselves a pep talk.
I’m here let’s get on with it, my book is ready to go and so am I!
Before my altercation with the author at the Wheeler Centre. I was sat listening to them talking about the next big thing. It’s me, It’s me! I thought. I know that sounds awfully arrogant but this is different I’m happy and proud of my work. I know these books could do a lot of good. Perhaps break down a few barriers, just as writing them has broken down my barriers. It’s why my emotions run high when I talk about my writing. It’s me on a plate, no holes barred. I don’t care if people like it or loath it, as long as it’s heard. Please world just listen, even if it is background music on your elevator ride. It’s on, it’s alive, it has a pulse, in fact it gives me palpitations!
My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here:
Fight or Flight – Authors
Flight
Going to the city today I listened to the authors of ‘Queer Literature’ at the Wheeler Centre, although my book might not exactly fall into the genre, I thought it an interesting talk to attend. I was seen and heard, just maybe not for the right reasons.
Listening to them talk about how publishers would make better tyre companies churning out the same old shit. Then I was seen, as I walked away after being told by a well-known author that trying to give authors a Usb stick was the wrong thing to do, not wanting at all to listen to my story. Yes it probably was the wrong thing to do but yes I’m desperate for someone to hear my story. On the one hand here they were saying that if you are different and not main stream the publishers won’t listen and yet the authors themselves (sorry one in particular) didn’t want to listen either. I had only knocked on the door and felt it being slammed in my face already.
I’m going to get kicked in the teeth a few times whilst on this journey I completely expect that. In fact if it didn’t happen I wouldn’t be on any journey, I would be sitting at home. So I should be grateful and I am, it ignites the fire within me to a larger degree.
Anyway after (what felt like) being kicked out of the Wheeler Centre I was fuming. Doesn’t this woman remember what it’s like to have this fire burning a hole in your stomach. The fire of a message you need to be heard but when you touch and talk about it, it hurts. Walking back down Elizabeth Street I thought no I’m not walking away with any more pain than I need to and I turned around.
‘I’m going back’
Fight
Walking back to a relatively empty room and after a moment of realisation that yes it was her that I wanted to talk to she gestured to a corner. Then finally I was heard.
‘I feel like you completely shot me down’ I said through tears of fire.
‘I’m sorry’ she apologised, ‘I’m glad you came back, I was wrong’
And then she hugged me, people often write about awkward hugs, this was the worst, I didn’t want to be hugged and she was about a foot shorter than me which made it even stranger.
The energy, my energy had been re-aligned but why did I still feel so riled up? Now that I have calmed down I realise that this was fight mode and not flight, not my normal reaction at all. No-one likes conflict and yet I went back looking for it, knowing I deserved that apology. I’m quietly proud that I went back. I’m sure she herself has fought many battles and won but she lost this one.
‘Oh someone wants me to sign their book’ she said gesturing to the table.
‘I hope one day that you will be sitting signing books!’ She said
I nodded and walked away. Yes I will be sitting that side of the table and yes she will definitely be getting an invite to my book launch. My first experience of the Wheeler Centre was certainly eventful, I do hope to return and hope that next time, I keep my cool and make a better job of networking.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” will be the next book I acquire.
Watch out world the fire is getting hotter, I may be starting to fly but I’m also ready for the fight.
My book Sharks & Lovers is available to download here: